I am so lucky to be a teacher at Lulu Bandha's. Sometimes I feel like it must be the happiest place on earth, and that happiness radiates out from Ojai to the universe.
I suppose I should talk about the experience of being a new teacher. But it's been so BIG and....not overwhelming exactly...but consuming. In a good way. Like finals week in college used to feel back in the day. Tons of prep time and fretting, but also pride in the work. And a sense of exponential learning, which is such a satisfying, dynamic feeling. I've been pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoy teaching, even though I often get frustrated with myself or insecure about endless silly things.
As usual, attending Kira's classes helps so much in unexpected, deep ways. Before my own class the other day I was feeling nervous and unprepared despite hours of doing everything from drinking liver-cleansing tea to watching videos to reading books to simply getting people to come. So I tried changing my thoughts. I said to myself, from as genuine a feeling as possible, "This is going to be a good class! It will be fun." And arriving with that expectation and attitude in my being, it was! It seems as though there's a fine line between suppressing feelings and letting go of ones that are holding you back.
I'm starting to notice that there are many instructions in yoga that seem simple but are in fact incredibly rich in meaning and have continued to reveal new flavors over the years. Things like "breathe into it" and "listen to your body" and "accept" and above all "relax." One day I'll suddenly 'discover' breathing, and it'll feel like I've never quite breathed before in my life. And now that I'm teaching I'm 'discovering' relaxing. I almost have a feeling that all the time on my mat has been solely to prepare me to be brave enough to show up at the studio 4 times a week and sit in the teacher spot. So that then and only then, I could finally begin my learning and relaxing.
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