Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bejinger Yogi Blahs

Went to the gym today. Haven't been in a few weeks, and I thought I'd be more excited about it. Instead I felt tired, lazy, and kind of creaky. I did a few sun salutations but really couldn't focus. I ended up sitting for about fifteen minutes on the mat in lotus, totally spacing out. No energy at all. I gave up after that and headed for the sauna, where I spaced out again. Couldn't let go of my thoughts, though; it was a weird kind of spaciness that is made from small panic attacks and lots of jittery fingers. I could do nothing but sit still while I was supposed to be moving, and once I was still, I couldn't stop moving.
I felt really small, I think. I was a little bit panicky about where I was in the city. I'd never been to that gym before, and although it was directly next to Sarah's office, I still felt lost. I just got overwhelmed and couldn't deal with being at the gym, so I showered quickly and came back home.
Wish I could have practiced more, though, outside of my house. I need some inspiration. I haven't been attending any actual yoga classes in almost two months; just teaching myself and others. Maybe that's part of my lethargy--I'm just not inspiring myself. Nobody's watching me except me, which certainly makes it a lot easier to poop out and hit up the sauna.
Those of you who read this, what do you do when you're feeling alone and uninspired in your yoga practice? Let's discuss!

1 comment:

Benjamin said...

you just need to get out of the city for a bit. i hear harbin is nice this time of year.

seriously though there must be a solid yoga community in beijing somewhere. let's find it.