I went to Kira's 9:00 am soft vinyasa class today. she said, "you don't come to yoga to realize that you have no tight spots, you come to find them." so that sort of put me in a mood to find the places in my body and mind where i was stuck. that reminder helped me to be less afraid of 'digging in' or experiencing discomfort.
for two days in a row last week i gave cardio exercise my best shot, with a run one day and a hike the next. the run was fine, and the hike was fabulous. but somehow i ended up with a really sore tailbone/coccyx area and now it hurts to bend forward. i don't like having exercise-induced joint pain. i am a huge baby about it. but kira started us out bending forward in badakonasana (seated bound angle), and i could really feel it in my low, low back area. if it weren't for the comment about 'finding tight spots,' i would have probably just felt miserable and waited for it to be over. maybe i would have unconsciously adjusted myself so i didn't feel such an ache. instead i just LET it hurt. it almost made me want to cry but not because of the pain which was actually better than feeling nothing. just because of how tense i'd been about it.
i resonate with a lot of things kira says but then when i leave the studio i don't know how to bring these ideas into the rest of my life. i guess becoming aware of my patterns in yoga, such as this tendency to subconsciously avoid pain, will help me notice the same patterns in the other areas of my life. it's one thing to relax, say, my hips into a lunge, but how do i relax in my LIFE and think less? i mean, i THINK i'm a pretty laid-back person most of the time, but maybe i also tend to confuse 'relaxed' with 'avoiding.' like, 'don't talk to me about that, it will mess with my relaxation.'
on a side note, i must not be that relaxed if i am having a sudden, insatiable desire for a $200 hair dryer. that's how much i hate my hair and how far my inner child wants to go to make it shiny and pretty. bad yogini! how can i honestly do yoga and still be this superficial?