The Yogery

2012-01-19T23:27:00.000-08:00

Robert Downey, Jr. has always been a heart throb in the eyes of Zen Muffin and I. And now here he is, doing yoga. This picture would totally go up in my locker, if I had a locker. Yoga Dork has more.

Yoga Hurts, Meditation is Boring

2012-01-16T19:27:00.000-08:00

We're Still Here!

2012-01-05T02:46:00.000-08:00

We're still here! I have to admit, dear readers, I kind of forgot about this blog. But I've remembered now. Not much is different since my last visit; still teaching, still eating, still baking. More on all of that to come soon.

We're still here?

2012-01-04T11:43:00.000-08:00

I have half a mind to start posting on the yogery again. Half a mind to let it go.

We'll see what happens. French toast, thoughts?

I saw that Jeanette Winterson has a new book coming out on March 6th. She reminds me of my sister, who first recommended I read her several years ago in Paris. Sarah has amazing taste in books and music. I've learned about so much good stuff from her.

We've even quoted Jeanette in the context of talking about yoga. Basically, we love her. Plus, the cover is fantastic, and the title of the book made me think of the title of an old Yogery post. I'm pretty sure Jeanette read the Yogery and then came up with the title of her book. (Our post: I'd Rather Be Free than Normal.)

Out on March 6th of this year. You can pre-order on Amazon. Pre-ordering is magical. You forget you ever paid any money, then the book just shows up on your doorstep, seemingly free.

We're still here/Muscular Psychology

2011-06-30T17:00:00.001-07:00

Happy March and Update from the Yogery!

2011-03-03T03:13:00.000-08:00

Zen Muffin is in India, and French Toast is neck deep in the slowest internet in China, yes it's a fact! We'll be back soon with reports on Mother India and perhaps even a live-blogging extravaganza when ZM comes to Shanghai in TWO WEEKS!

Coconut Cream Pudding, and Happy Year of the Rabbit!

2011-02-07T03:31:00.000-08:00

We're coming up on the tail end of Chinese New Year, or chunjie, or Spring Festival, or one-week-off-from-work-when-all-business-is-set-aside-and-fireworks-go-off-like-mad-24/7, and I have yet to do what I said I would do this week: practice Ashtanga yoga every day, work on the Salty story, organize my closet, write in the Yogery....Ay yo.

Instead of doing these things, I pretended I was still in Thailand and made coconut cream pudding. Nothing like a cool, creamy, coconutty spoonful of goodness to make the annoyance of firecrackers bouncing off your sixteenth floor window melt away. If you make it, and I highly recommend you do, you'll need three cans of coconut milk and the patience to wait at least a day before you eat it.

Instead of the hardcore Ashtanga practice I promised myself, I yoga-ed to Jason Crandell via Yoga Journal podcasts. They are usually only about 20 minutes, but they all go well together so you can just yoga until your battery wears out.

This week I'm hoping to start a green juice cleanse. Any tips or recommendations out there for me? I haven't done one in awhile. What better way to start the Year of the Rabbit than eating like one!

Coconut Pudding with Coconut Cream

Ingredients:
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup corn starch (i used flour)
1/4 teaspoon salt
5 cups canned unsweetened coconut milk, divided. (i subbed three cups for coconut cream. yum!)
tropical fruits to be spooned on top for serving.

In a heavy saucepan, stir together the sugar, cornstarch and salt. Gradually add 1/2 cup of the coconut milk and stir until you have a runny paste. Stir in remaining cups of milk and cream, and cook over medium heat until the mixture starts to thicken. Turn the heat to low and, stirring briskly, simmer for 1 minute.
Pour the pudding into a 11/2 quart dish, mold or ramekins, and let it cool uncovered for a bit. This will achieve 'skin' on top of the pudding. IF you don't want skin, press plastic wrap immediately onto the surface of the pudding. Put in the fridge for about 12 hours.

Adapted slightly from "The Joy of Vegan Baking" by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

I am not slow

2011-02-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

from www.explodingdog.com

Out of the Yarn Jungle

2011-02-01T21:16:00.000-08:00

Below: "Crossing the Line" an exhibit by Tanya Aguiñiga at the LA Craft and Folk Art Museum

Where got I that truth?
Out of a medium's mouth.
Out of nothing it came,
Out of the forest loam,
Out of dark night where lay
The crowns of Nineveh.
-'Fragments,' Yeats

Above: The exhibit had an interactive corner with yarn and scissors for visitors to play with. This is my contribution.

Hypothesis: We are Ease

2011-01-31T20:36:00.000-08:00

One of the most "unexpected benedictions" (a favorite phrase of mine from Krishnamurti's journals) of yoga teaching is the connection with the students. Due to Kira's example and encouragement, I try to solicit questions and comments during class. Tonight in particular we had a delightful interaction going, discussing the results of the practices like a bunch of scientists comparing lab results.

I wanted to share some of their words for what happened when we did the practices Kira taught in Anatomy of Self Love:

Experiment: Think a common negative thought you often tell yourself (e.g. "I am fat" or "I am not good enough"). Repeat that in your head over and over again as you begin to breathe fully, in and out, taking big breaths. Try to hang on to the thought as you breathe.

Results: No one could hang on to the poison of the thought. One person said that she saw her words literally change shape to look something like this:

I AM
unworthy/fat/insert any negative word here

Another woman said something like, "The breath feels like a blessing and the ego feels like it's rewired." I love the idea of feeling a blessing in your body.

Experiment: Repeat a positive thought over and over again in your mind, or hold an image of someone or something you love, family, partner, or pets. Again, breathe big and full for several rounds of breath.

Results: One person reported that the feeling of love was enhanced with the breath. Another said that the words edited themselves, transforming from "I love my children" to "I love" followed by the children's names. As if the breath swooped in and erased the attachment, leaving only the love. Someone saw purple and red behind his eyes.

These discussions give me a sense of safety as a teacher because the insights are coming right from the 'students.' I'm not up there making stuff up, going "you should be seeing colors and you should be feeling more love now." They are actually teaching me, because each insight sounds fresh and new and alive in someone else's words, coming from someone else's Yoga.

I fill this space with words like stars

2011-01-27T18:31:00.000-08:00

Grey Kitty in Sphinx Pose, the living, breathing, furry form of these mystifying questions:

who am i? whence this widespread cosmic flux?
these, the wise inquire into diligently, soon--nay, now.
(mahopanishad iv, 21... as quoted in ravi ravindra's book the spiritual roots of yoga)

The blank screen, blinking cursor, supportive cat curled up next to me. The conditions are right for writing but deciding what to say is a whole 'nother thing.

About a year ago I taught my first yoga class ever. So in a way this month is my yogic birthday. The shift from 'student' to 'teacher' was a painful but sometimes thrilling molting process. There were nervous breakdowns ("I'm quitting yoga!") and extreme, meticulous preparation for classes, and on the positive side, the immense support of Kira and others. I have learned so much since I started teaching that, looking back, it seems like I didn't know anything before that first night. (I wonder if that cycle will ever stop. Will I ever look back and think, "Gosh I really knew what I was doing back then"?)

I'm taking Kira's wonderful Anatomy of Self Love workshop this week, and it's giving me an inspiring context from which to look back on my first year of teaching yoga as well as look ahead to the kind of things I really want to be teaching. I feel I am getting real tools for getting out of my head, for aligning with the way things are supposed to be, for rewiring my body-mind towards a truer, freer self.

The stars in the winter sky are extra bright right now. This week Sarah had a dream about a beautiful starry night, and stars were the gorgeous backdrop of the gripping climax of "True Grit." The other night I was driving down the mountainous Dennison Grade and the stars looked so sparkly they seemed fake, cinematic. I was listening to "Staralfur," my favorite song by Sigur Ros, rolling down the curvy road overlooking the valley thinking about those lines, "Who am I? Whence this widespread cosmic flux? These, the wise inquire into dilently, soon--nay, now." An instant feeling of calm, quiet, and aching wonder washed over me. Time slowed down. I'm amazed that I'm a yoga teacher; I'm amazed that I'm alive. I'm amazed at the stars. It's gonna be ok. I don't have to know the answers when the questions feel so potent. Now, home again in my tiny house, I fill this space with words like stars.

"Staralfur" combined with BBC's "Planet Earth" = bliss:

New year, new yoga

2011-01-08T22:32:00.000-08:00

Hello from Koh Phangnan, Thailand! Ben and I are spending the next few weeks relaxing and detoxing from life in China. This morning we snorkeled near a living reef and I practiced my pranayama to keep from panicking. I am not an experienced sea faring lady, so I need lots of practice. The bright, swift moving schools of fish and dark seaweed plant that spiral up from the sandy bottom like snakes still surprise me.
I have not practiced ashtanga seriously for awhile, but there is a little studio near by which offers a class in the afternoons--today we'll ride over and check it out. I am looking forward to revisiting the practice--in the past, it's felt to rigid for me.
Dear Yogery, it pains me to write I lost my camera, so I cannot share the photos of the amazing food we've had here. But believe when I say there are some incredible looking pasrtries here--some buns and cakes colored bright green or yellow.
Any one out there have any yoga or non yoga recommendations for me on Koh Phangnan? Places to eat I just can't miss, or beautiful beaches? I'd love to hear them.

On Yoga (or the lack thereof) in India

2011-01-03T18:08:00.000-08:00

Yoga teachers sometimes say and do things that embarrass the rest of us in the profession. Hanging a disco ball in the studio is one example. Telling an Indian woman she has good hips for squatting (because she is Indian) is just cringe-inducing (how would someone even come up with that idea?). Yikes. In this NPR story, a funny Indian American radio host decides to try yoga before India 'reclaims' it and he is left behind.

Story Here

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T20:29:00.000-08:00

Happy 2011, Yogery! As I write this, the new year has already brought sunshine and fresh made friends. I haven't made any resolutions this year, and I don't know if I will. Here's what I know: if you make one cake this year, I hope it's that one up there. Zen Muffin posted the recipe earlier--it's the cardamom cake with butter rum drizzle. Yes, it looks like a giant donut, but it tastes a million times better than anything you'll find at Krispy Kreme. My rum butter drizzle is on the bottom of this cake--it's more of a burnt caramel rum sauce, and it's delicious.

So no big resolutions for me, but lots to look forward to. Close friends are returning to Shanghai, bringing along their new baby daughter with them. A trip to Thailand in a few days--ahh! I am venturing into the sweet world of momma and baby yoga for the first time--a truly awesome experience.

I suppose I'd be lying if I didn't mention I do have one yoga specific goal this year: Eight Angle Pose. Casey's got me working on the prep, nice and easy, and I'll be damned if I can't get it by this time next year!

Happy new year! Tell me your plans and resolutions!

Homemade Oreos

2010-12-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

At first I thought it necessary to post my own personal Christmas wish list. It's maybe too late for that. But here, friends, is my list of things you should buy because you want them. And because they are cute. And because you might need something new to brighten up your dreary January.

1. Listen, I know - not from firsthand experience - that Van Morrison can be a jag. But when he makes music as beautiful as this, I'm not going to hold it against him. My dad has this record and it is a blessed thing.

2. I'm a sucker for cutesy shit. Some samples: un stylo, durable vinyl for your cash, and this Bozo nose.

3. Yes please.

4. Who doesn't want some of this? I will take anything and everything, as long as it's on sale.

5. Put whatever you want in these. I don't care. Whatever. Just get them.

6. Wrap yourself up, put a bow on your head, and I'll probably go for it.

7. Go stay at someone else's house. They have beds, they have kitchens, they have hot tubs, and they have a view.

8. Buy stuff for your dog, because they love you more than anything. And if you can't buy them anything, love them more than anything. And if you don't have a dog, get one.

I have very little wisdom. But because this is an end-of-the-year post, and really is an end-of-the-decade sort of thing, I feel compelled to include a bit of what I've learned. I am always humbled by what I do not know, and that's a lot. Doing things because I feel the obligation is rarely the best thing for me. Sacrificing self and supporting others is sometimes - a lot of times - the best thing for me. It is important to know the difference. Be intentional about everything. My parents are only getting older and so am I; our relationship will change. It doesn't really matter how long it took me to apply, and get accepted, to graduate school. It OK that I'm still not convinced it's a good idea. I will give the most time, love, affection, and self to people who deserve and protect it. I will be a really good aunt.

Happiest New Year's, fireworks. Eat and be merry!

Arj Barker: The Sickest Buddhist

2010-12-29T10:40:00.001-08:00

Elvis, on a Yoga Blog!

2010-12-28T22:08:00.000-08:00

Inspiration comes from unexpected places sometimes.

I've been sharing from the Bhagavad Gita in class for a few weeks (thanks, Kira, for getting me to do that!). The line I've been sharing is, "He who finds happiness, light, and delight within himself is a true yogi." This is SO much harder than doing the most advanced poses!

All day I unsuccessfully looked for my inner happiness, light, and delight. I was actually itemizing yogic techniques in my brain, trying to come up with one that would directly put me in contact with my 'inner happiness.' Then my music shuffled to fellow Iowan Greg Brown covering the old gospel song, "I Shall Not Be Moved" and, well, I was moved. When the heart can feel, the thinking head can rest, and inner happiness is more available.

Here is the Elvis version. Greg's mellower version is not available on YouTube. That's ok because this version will knock your socks off with its bulk supplies of happiness, light, and delight.

Bodies in Urban Spaces

2010-12-27T22:08:00.000-08:00

These photos are from a public art installation called "Bodies in Urban Spaces" by a choreographer (Willi Dorner) and a photographer (Lisa Rastl). I recommend doing a google image search to see more, but I chose a few of my favorites to share below.

I love the democratic nature of the project. The artists use their bodies as a form of expression but we don't see them in any really hard poses, looking athletic or idealized, as so much art tends to do. Anyone could do this. A mere turning upside down in an everyday space (and we can't discount the charm of the bright colored clothing) creates instant playfulness, humor, and joy.

How much of our posture and carriage comes from socioeconomic and cultural factors? How do our cultural and political beliefs literally shape our bodies? More on this in a couple days when I finish reading Yoga Body by Mark Singleton, which puts yoga in a broad context of politics, colonization, morality, and a constantly changing societal relationship to the human body. I know your breath is bated.

The Yogery's SECOND Annual Gift Guide! We followed up, oh yes we did!

2010-12-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

Last year we posted the Yogery's First Annual Gift Guide. We suppose that implies we have to do a second list, doesn't it? So here goes...the Yogery's annual list of fabulous presents that mostly the authors would enjoy.

Merry Christmas from French Toast and Zen Muffin (in Shanghai and Ojai respectively!)

1. Infinite Itunes gift certificates. I wish itunes sold some sort of lifetime membership that entitled the holder to infinite downloads. Since that doesn't exist, a Really Large Gift Certificate should suffice. French Toast adds: Amazon! Do they make gift certificates? They should. Or any online book seller..who doesn't love picking out books online and then getting them in the mail?!

2. Yoga Passes! Come to Zen Muffin's very own Yoga classes at the endlessly charming Lulu Bandha's studio in Ojai, California.

3. Street Food of India: The 50 Greatest Indian Snacks by Sephi Bergerson. The food is the real reason many international yogis make a pilgrimage to India. That's why I want to go anyway. Not the yoga, but the samosas and lassis and chai oh my! This book has ridiculously amazing photos and will please anyone who is a food geek at all. French Toast turned me on to it and I bought it for someone who I'm pretty sure does not read the Yogery. If they do, surprise! Oops!

4. The Gro-Bot. SO cute. A Robot plant-holder almost as cute as Wall-e who holds onto your plant like it's his best friend. He will soon be YOUR best friend.

5. Shop local. This year I tried harder than usual to balance the desire to find the perfect gifts with the desire to support Ojai's small shops. So many of them are struggling and closing. And, well, I realized that I like them there even if I don't often shop at them. But if they're going to stay, someone has to give them money. Most importantly, I get to save my soul from the mall.

6. D.I.Y. I think people genuinely like receiving homemade gifts or food items. I can't reveal what I am going to do this year in case any of you readers are on the receiving end. Or in case it is a total bust.

7. This AMAZING vintage Mexican wool bag. I am in love with it. I love those Mexican blankets that are in every yoga studio. This bag is like that, only it's actual wool with no synthetic fibers. And hey, you could carry your yoga stuff in it and then use it as a prop if you wanted!

8. Yogi-specific gifts: Any decent book on yoga is always appreciated. New books are great inspiration for yoga teachers. Double points for cool vintage yoga books. And any yoga teacher or devoted student would be delighted to receive a yoga bolster for Christmas. They are so expensive yet so wonderful for practicing.

9. Leslie Kaminoff's Online Yoga Anatomy Course. Nine months of intensive online study with one of yoga's foremost educators. Yes, please!

10. Heidi Swanson's Super Natural Cooking. I'm a regular visitor to her site 101 Cookbooks, and my mom owns this book--it's chock full of tips and tricks for eating super natural at home. Yum.

11. Celebrity Chekov. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

12. Pretty much anything from Drawn and Quarterly is a winner, but this new graphic novel by Vanessa Davis looks pretty good. For the story lover in your life.

13. A food processor! These puppies are pretty hard to find in China, but if I had one, I'd be a hummus making machine.

cardamommmmm + rummmmm

2010-12-07T22:45:00.000-08:00

Cardamom Bundt Cake with Rum Butter Drizzle. The very word "cardamom" is such a delicious thing in mouth, starting out sharp and ending round and soft. Things like that make me happy. Come to think of it, from above, a bundt cake looks like a bunch of m's gathering in a circle with their feet in the center. Awww. I'm feeling very silly tonight apparently. Edward Espe Brown's got me thinking about sweet round teapots with dents, then that gets me onto my chickens because they are also ample and round and cheery. And once I start thinking about chickens I get all warm and fuzzy inside.

This was the most successful thing I made at this year's Thanksgiving feast. The recipe comes from Nadia Natali's Blue Heron Ranch Cookbook.

preheat to 325

In a large bowl mix together:

8 T butter melted (one stick)
1 C Raw sugar (i used regular)
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla

Add to wet ingredients:

2 C white flour
1 T ground cardamom
1/4 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1 T orange rind grated
2 t Baking powder
1/4 t salt

Add 1 C sour cream or yogurt to batter and mix all together. I was forced to use low fat yogurt because on Thanksgiving it's all the store had left. I think a higher fat yogurt would be even moister.

Butter and dust with flour a 10 inch bundt pan. Pour mixture into pan. Bake at 325 for 45-50 minutes or until a thin knife inserted into cake comes out clean.

Meanwhile, pour some rum, lots of butter, and lots of brown sugar, into a saucepan and bring to a boil. I didn't measure really, we just kept tasting until we found the right balance. Pour this generously over the finished cake and serve.

Face the Potato

2010-12-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

When I change, I am always surprised, almost alarmed. In this case, my attitudes towards food are releasing their old shapes and becoming something else entirely. My old rigidity is loosening and I'm not quite so tempted into believing that following rules will save me. Nutrition seems so scientific that I have never treated eating as an art. It is time for me to admit that I have to find my own way. Food is a huge area of my life where I can start literally feeding myself better.

Eating is not only an art, it is a way of participating in life, a key way of getting Fed rather than being devoured by the fast pace of things. I just watched the documentary "How to Cook Your Life" featuring Zen priest and chef Edward Espe Brown. Most of the film is about something I've been thinking a lot about lately--why cook? What is so special about food you cooked for yourself when you could just buy it across the street and save so much time? One of my favorite reasons Edward gives for cooking is "Let the hands be hands!" Hearing that, I suddenly felt fondness towards my hands and even a funny rising sense of obligation to let them be used to their fullest potential. While I couldn't cook tonight, I at least drove across town to where I know the food is loved, and bought myself the greenest possible salad at Farmer and the Cook. It tasted so good. My frequent eating out to save time and energy is perhaps a false simplicity, however organic and natural my choices are. Edward said, "We pay a lot of money to not have to face a potato."

I recommend watching at least this touching final scene from "How to Cook Your Life." (link below) Edward talks about how, in a low moment of deep frustration, even despair, cheery but dented teapots reminded him of the beauty of sincerity and presenting ourselves to the world with our dents and flaws unhidden.

Now let's go and sincerely face our potatoes.

The link to the clip is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC5FUW5PEWo

Yoga on Ropes

2010-12-07T17:51:00.000-08:00

Last night I took a class using ropes. Although my hip creases and butt cheeks are sporting some pretty serious bruises, the class was great. What we did:

Hanging sirasana.
Uttanasana while standing in the ropes and folding forward, then reaching arms forward to lengthen the spine. Action was in lifting the rib cage, dropping shoulders back, and lifting the thighs up against the ropes.
Downward dog with ropes still in the creases of hips
option for hanging uttanasana (this was extremely challenging, as not only do you have to fight gravity but also just feels super weird)
backbending with option for dropping back into wheel. This was a super intense feeling for me--as I dropped back, I felt like I blacked out for a moment. We practiced this for a while, and as a result, I was up for hours last night. Zing!

We might have done some other stuff, but I can't remember now. Using the ropes created space to notice real alignment issues and really feel the work of 'simple' postures.

Who Owns Yoga?

2010-11-28T17:34:00.000-08:00

This article asks the question "who owns yoga?" in light of a small but apparently growing group in the US called Take Back Yoga who claim we've lost touch with what they believe to be the true roots of yoga: Hinduism.

"In a way," said Dr Aseem Shukla, the foundation's co-founder, "our issue is that yoga has thrived, but Hinduism has lost control of the brand."

Another recent article regarding the identity of yoga from Clutch asks why black communities in the US have not taken up the practice as readily as white communities. It makes me sad to hear stories about students showing up to class, seeing a teacher of color, and then leaving, but I suppose it shouldn't be surprising. Race, class and gender are inescapable forces, even in yoga class.

It's true that yoga has become, in some parts of the world, a past time for privileged people. It's expensive, it's trendy and it's filled with well meaning white people. How do we change that?

And: http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgossipinfo/namaste-yoga-in-the-black-community/

Happy Thanksgiving, Yogery!

2010-11-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

Whatever the holiday means to you, I hope it is a delightful weekend filled with pie, movie marathons and red wine. And, of course, yoga! I'll be in Shanghai baking pies and teaching yoga this weekend, but remembering fondly T-days in Boulder with pumpkin cake, Beatles singalongs and two days of LOTR.

In light of the long weekend for those of you in the USA, I'm posting a sequence I've been teaching lately. Here's to taking some time to get on the mat!

Opening with whatever suits you.

chair twist
transitioning from chair twist into lunge
crescent lunge
dancer's pose
stepping back into warrior II
reverse warrior
side angle
back to warrior II
warrior I
twisting lunge

Gavin Rossdale Does Bikram Yoga, WHAT?!

2010-11-11T16:42:00.000-08:00

In sixth grade, I had a picture of him posted in my locker. Now he's a yogi? Be still, my sixth grade heart. Okay, fine, being a yogi to my sixth grade self means nothing. Happily, I find this whole thing refreshing. Now if only he was in a pose...

Full 'story' here. What's funny about it is the emphasis on him being shirtless. As if there's any other way to do Bikram yoga!

Phillip Askew's New York City Vinyasa

2010-11-08T17:56:00.000-08:00

This video is surprisingly interactive--near the end, I found myself exhaling along with him as he settled into Savasana. Check it out:

Are You There, Yogery? It's Me, French Toast.

2010-11-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hi. I've been away. Traveling, running, writing, baking, moving to another apartment. But yoga-ing still, ever so quietly. In my own practice, the classes I'm teaching and in my life, this has been on my mind:

what do you think? fits, yeah?

You Decide

2010-10-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

You decide:

Inhale!!!

OR...Head-into-mat-asana!

Meditate in Your Unders

2010-10-07T00:19:00.000-07:00

At least that's what Lake and Stars would have you do, and I can't say I disagree. Many a Sunday morning I find myself meditating in my under-belows, sprawled across the bed, practicing telekinesis on the PS3 control. Link is from the delightful fashion blog Kingdom of Style.

2010-10-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

I grew very fond of this cake last weekend. I could relate to it. Yes, that's it, I emotionally identified with a pink, artificial cake from Vons. The photo does not do justice to the obscene, girlish pinkness of this thing. In the midst of a weekend retreat of purity, contemplation, and organic food, this cake was a reminder of my own absurdity and artifice. I was assigned to the task of cake-keeper, since my trailer had a big enough refrigerator for the thing. Silently I carried it over the kin-hin footpath to the trailer, believing that mindfulness could sanctify even a fake strawberry cake. That was on the first night. The second night, we ate leftover slices at 11 pm with our bare hands and went to bed slightly ill.

My first zen retreat so long ago was semi-sacred, so exotic and intimidating that I was scared to break any rules. Now I'm questioning the benefits of sitting on a cushion for hours and hours and more aware of other ways to "practice." To test that idea, as well as to counterpose my usual tendency to obey rules and be a good girl, I skipped a lot of the sits in favor of hiking, writing, and helping in the kitchen.

Plus, my sitting practice wasn't going anywhere that I could discern. I mostly kept thinking of pop songs. I have a lyrics problem. Sometimes it feels like every one of my emotions has already been described in a pop song, but I usually suppress the urge to point that out. Say I'm feeling, "You're cute and you make me happy." I stick to my own inexpressive way of saying things when I'm really thinking in Weezer-ese, "You're just like Buddy Holly and I'm Mary Tyler Moore." And in meditation, forget it, I might as well just be listening to my itunes on shuffle. I felt an interesting sensation of fire coming up my core and water washing down the outside. And so I started singing in my head, "You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide." Thanks, Saves the Day. Really? After 10 years, you are still stuck in my head?

The lyrics that I really couldn't get out my head this weekend were from the song "Lust for Life" by Girls: "I'm just crazy/ I'm totally mad. Yeah I'm just crazy/ I'm fucked in the head." Which never felt so true and so irreversible. But we're here to stay, pink cakes and my crazy head.

Sawasdee, Thailand!

2010-09-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

2010-09-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

I missed yoga today. Again! Otherwise I would not be here writing this blog. Am I the only one that does that?! I think there might be something missing in my brain. Some lobe that plans out the timing of my morning schedule. It's like my body takes over and becomes this robot. A robot that takes long showers, drinks Sense of Peace tea, sleeps in despite the tiny dog jumping onto its face, waters plants, tosses out the old kefir, gives out belly rubs to any animal that asks, and listens to just one more song on that cd. Then suddenly it's 8:50 and it's too late to go to class without slouching in late and ashamed--again--and THAT's when the human wakes up and realizes what she has done.

Oh yeah, and all this complaining and self-pity about missing yoga has made me lose focus on what I wanted to share, which is the above clip from the movie My Neighbor Totoro. My words can only diminish the experience of the movie. This particular clip makes me want to stand out in front of my garden and do sun salutations to see if it grows faster. Grey Kitty/Clooney will have to play the part of Totoro. He has the soft belly for it.

Sarah (French Toast) is in Thailand this weekend. If she does not come back we can safely assume she has joined the Sea Gypsies (Chao Le).

Grrrr. Om.

2010-09-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

omg this makes me sooo happy. look at this cute bear doing yoga! she has just the right laid-back attitude.

here is the original article in the guardian, with even more awesome photos:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/gallery/2010/sep/15/yoga-bear-finland#/?picture=366722348&index=6

Chinese Breakfast of Champions

2010-09-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

Instant coffee, hot soy milk, and a fried dough stick, aka you tiao. (yo-tee-yow)

In yoga-as-party-trick news, you know how when you tell someone you practice yoga, often the response is some joke about how flexible you must be? Or maybe they snort and say, oh yeah, so you can like, put your foot behind your head or something, right? (And let's be honest: it's usually a dude who says these things.) Well, dudes, I can officially put my foot behind my head, as of two days ago! After some deep, deep hip openers and a little manipulation of my shoulder placement, my foot made contact with the back of my head. Wooooeeeee! Call me for your next party.

More On My Love of Roger Ebert

2010-09-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

I've always trusted Roger Ebert's movie reviews. For as long as I can remember, I've looked to his thumbs for film advice. I knew he had cancer, and had lost the use of his voice, but did not realize the severity of his condition. He cannot speak, drink or eat. He has no tongue. His communication is limited to gestures, scribbling notes and more gesturing. And yet he's written a cook book, dedicated to the rice cooker of all things. This NYT article touches on all this, but mostly Ebert discusses food. It's not about yoga, I know, but it's just too good to miss.

Laughter Yoga

2010-08-31T17:50:00.000-07:00

No mat required.

Yoga and Paragliding

2010-08-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

Om Om Om Om Om before GO GO GO GO

and...just fly! Before take off--which involves just running your heart out off a cliff until the wind fills the glider--I was staying calm by chanting in my head. In fact, I was so focused on chanting that when the right wind came along, I didn't realize we were running until my feet were swept up off the ground!

Yoga with George Clooney

2010-08-22T17:18:00.000-07:00

This post's title is misleading. I would not be against posting something about the real George Clooney doing yoga but I don' t know his thoughts on the subject personally. The George Clooney I refer to is a stray cat normally referred to as Grey Cat.

As Grey Cat and I have gotten to know each other he has come to be called many things, from Grace Jones (before I knew his gender) to Grey Kitty to George Clooney and now just Clooney or Meow-meow. My sister (pseudonym French Toast) and I co-named him that due to his universal appeal--like the actor. Clooney knows my car and at night when I pull up to the curb he waits for me by the tree, scratches his claws on it in some mysterious ritual, then escorts me to my door in safety so that no raccoons can get me. He is a shape-shifter who survives on his adorability. He purrs so loudly that today I tested whether my own voice would also vibrate if I held him against me, kind of like when you talk into a fan.

He loves it when I get on the floor to do yoga. Sometimes he sits on the chair above me, like, "Why would you lay on the floor when there are chairs?" Other times he sits directly on me or on my notebook when I'm trying to write out a sequence for class. Then I say, "Ok, Clooney, you're right. What was I thinking? You're the most important thing in the world. And here's some catnip."

Modern Day Mantras Part 2

2010-08-21T07:41:00.001-07:00

In April I posted this list of modern day mantras. This is the second installment. Feel free to comment and add your own.

---

So many allies, so many allies, so many allies. Feel the love come off of them and take me in your arms. Peel all of your layers off. I want to eat your artichoke heart. OM. (Thom Yorke, "Atoms for Peace")

Everything is everything. What is meant to be will be. After winter, must come spring. OM. (Lauryn Hill, "Everything is Everything")

Llevo en el alma un camino destinado a nunca llegar. OM. (Manu Chao, "Desaparecido")

I'm ready to let the river wash over me. OM. (Tracy Chapman, "River")

I want to live where soul meets body. OM. (Death Cab for Cutie, "Soul Meets Body")

What am I here for? I left my home to disappear is all....You don't know me- I am an introvert, an excavator. OM. (Santogold, "L.E.S. Artistes")

I wait, yeah I wait. For something good, something great. OM. (Ben Kweller, "Penny on the Train Track")

Like a bird on the wing, I just wanna be free enough to do my thing. OM. (Aaron Neville, "Hercules")

All is full of love. OM. (Bjork, "All is Full of Love")

I'm vulnerable. I'm vulnerable. I am not a Robot. OM. (Marina & the Diamonds, "I Am Not a Robot")

And another incredibly cute version of this song:

Seriously Moist Carrot Cake

2010-08-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

As Jack Kerouac wrote, "The prettiest girls in the world live in Des Moines." In addition to being the prettiest, we also bake the bombest Mostly Vegan Carrot Cakes. By we I mean Neena. Maura found the recipe, hosted the party, and kept her veggie-phile cat out of the salad (mostly). Neena did the baking in a little black dress that was soon covered in flour. She even hand-smooshed the pineapple into the batter due to lack of baking equipment. I shaved chocolate on top to make it aesthetically appealing. This recipe worked! Even my grandparents liked it the next day. With the exotic spices and everything. The frosting is pretty runny so this cake has kind of a homey appearance but the taste is delicious.

Here's the recipe. Enjoy the funny notes from Maura.

AMAZING CARROT CAKE

Makes 1 - 3 layer cake (we did two 8x8 pans which worked perfectly)

Prep time - 30 minutes (who knows if those things are ever really accurate, especially if you're distractedly cooking with friends & wine!)

Cook time - 40 minutes

Ingredients:

2 cups white flour
1 1/2 t. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
1 1/2 c sugar
1/2 t. salt
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. ground ginger (I think it would be fun to try it with freshly grated ginger... or freshly cut ginger chunks. Yum... ginger...)
2 c grated carrots (I think it could have even used more, if carroty carrot cake is your thing)
1 c chopped pineapple (we used canned, worked swimmingly)
1/2 c canola oil
1/4 c applesauce
3 large egg whites
1 c walnut pieces
1/4 non-dairy milk (we used vanilla almond milk - yummier and more creamy than soy/rice milk)
1 T. apple cider vinegar
1 t. vanilla

We mixed it up a tad with the spices (always add more spice to any recipe, right?!) - added cardamom... yum!

Prep:

Preheat oven to 350. Lightly oil and flour your pans, tapping out excess flour
In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, cinnamon (and cardamom!), ground ginger and salt
In food processor (or by hand if you're cheap/ghetto like me and don't even have an electric hand-held mixer thing) combine pineapple, canola oil, applesauce, egg whites, non-dairy milk of choice, apple cider vinegar and vanilla, until well combined.
Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture and stir and such
Stir in carrots and walnuts
Pour batter into prepared pan. BAKE!... until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, yadda yadda, about 40 minutes.

VEGAN CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

Makes about 2 cups

Prep time - 5 minutes

Ingredients:

1/2 cup dairy-free soy margarine (Willow Run, Earth Balance, etc)
1 8-oz tub of dairy-free cream cheese (such as Tofutti, or that other brand we used whose name I always forget)
4 cups powdered sugar

Prep:

In a large mixing bowl (using an electric mixer if you're snazzy enough to own one), blend all the ingredients until creamy & fluffy - about 5 minutes
Use mixture to frost stuff, like cakes! May be stored up to 1 day (or maybe longer) in an airtight container in the fridge, until ready to use.

Roger Ebert, I Love You

2010-08-17T03:31:00.000-07:00

From his review of the film adaptation of the book "Eat, Pray, Love":

"She shows moral fibre by leaving such a dreamboat for India, where her quest involves discipline in meditation, for which she allots three months rather than the recommended lifetime."

Hee hee! Laughs aside, I have read the book but not seen the movie, and although Roger's warned me against it, I'll probably watch it eventually. As meditation and yoga practice feature heavily in the story, what are your thoughts on the book/movie?

Sonnez Les Matines

2010-08-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I help Michaela and Deon with their animals. I absolutely love it. I call Michaela my chicken-parenting mentor. Morning on the farm is a happy time (except for the pigs, who are more like me and would rather hit the snooze button). The music is "Plekete" by Zap Mama.

From Leaves of Grass:

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contain’d;
I stand and look at them long and long.

They do not sweat and whine about their condition;
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins;	685
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God;
Not one is dissatisfied—not one is demented with the mania of owning things;
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago;
Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth.

Mantra

2010-08-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

I am safe.

My body is safe.

My jaw is safe.

My eyes are safe.

My lips are safe.

My neck especially is safe.

My hips are safe.

Even my hair is safe.

My breath is safe.

My belly is safe.

My thoughts are safe.

My brain is safe.

My prana is safe.

My fragility is safe.

I am safe being seen.

The Breath Inside the Breath

2010-08-12T23:56:00.000-07:00

above: a glass sculpture of the breath inside the lungs by annie cattrell

Are you looking for me?
I am in the next seat.
My shoulder is against yours.

You will not find me in the stupas, not in Indian shrine
rooms, nor in synagogues, nor in cathedrals:
not in masses, nor kirtans, not in legs winding
around your own neck, nor in eating nothing but vegetables.
When you really look for me, you will see me instantly --
you will find me in the tiniest house of time.
Kabir says: Student, tell me, what is God?
He is the breath inside the breath.

Kabir

How To Be Alone

2010-08-12T18:54:00.001-07:00

My Dream Wedding Cake?

2010-08-11T23:44:00.000-07:00

Sweet baby Buddha, it's made of cheese! Cheese! Am I crazy, or is this a totally mindblowingly awesome idea? Spotted on a cup of jo.

Pastry Pose

2010-08-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

Lisa West invents a pose for The Yogery! This is parivrtta cupcake janu sirsana or revolved head-to-knee-cupcake pose. Props necessary: napkin, fork, and a cupcake from Knead Bakery.

Dear Yoga, It's Me, Ashley

2010-08-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

A few things I need to get off my chest. Dear yoga, it's me, ashley, are you listening?

Dear yoga,

Without you I am so stiff and unfeeling and just SOLID in mind and body. As soon as I practice just a little bit I feel so much more open and able to go with the flow. Things seem funnier. Other things seem sadder. Everything is more infused with beauty. My concerns start to melt.

I would like to understand why you chose me. I was, after all, an unlikely candidate. But you spoke to me when I was a high school girl in Iowa, through a book that I can no longer find. I remember a picture of someone in Cobra pose. Am I just making that up now? I remember mimicking it on the wood floor of the "great room" in the house I grew up in and have never been back to. I remember teaching it to my Junior Varsity tennis team and everyone being amazed at that new feeling of openness in the chest and belly.

Then you and I drifted apart. I left for college in Santa Fe, New Mexico. My first yoga class wasn't very exciting. I was just there for a boy. And then that boy got more into meditating than yoga, and I followed, the puppy-in-love that I was. He left, and then I remembered you again. Or rather, a friend dragged me to see you at the Bikram Studio in Santa Fe. There, I remember the dirty brown carpet, the mirrors, the sweaty room. The baggy, crimson Harvard t-shirt I wore. The teacher exhorted us to "Push your hips forward to the wall! More! More!" in Camel Pose. And I pushed, thrilled at the daring feeling of the pose and the teacher's passion. We were back in love then, yoga.

But the world is a dangerous place for love, and we drifted apart yet again. I couldn't overcome the financial obstacles to get to you. And Zen, which was free, took your place for a while. I sat in stillness wearing all black and trying not to cough in dark rooms. I meditated as I polished wood, as I scooped peanut butter into my oats, as I kissed that boy, who came back to me, for a time, trading places with you. I studied and found meaning in everything but you. I didn't need you, I thought. I had The Odyssey, the Pythagorean theorem, Sophocles, and Chomsky and Annie Dillard when I needed to escape the Greats (which was more often than not). You, yoga, I resisted, ignored, saw through, as I sometimes do with those who I should really love and let in to my life. That is how our story begins, dear yoga.

With love,

Ashley

A New Way To Love!

2010-08-09T18:00:00.001-07:00

Use BlogLovin'?

Check it:

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Eat, Write, Buy Things, Do Yin Yoga, Eat More

2010-08-08T22:48:00.000-07:00

I just happened to notice that this post here, the one I'm writing now, is our 306th post! This number has no specific importance to me, but it's nice to know we've put three hundred and five posts out into the world about yoga, eating, baked goods and everything in between. At times it feels like a lonely quest, but Zen Muffin and I have thoroughly enjoyed having this blog to unite us across the oceans and connect with other pastry loving yoginis.

Speaking of baked goods, check out this ring I found on Etsy this morning:

It's a croissant on a plate on your finger! Talk about breakfast on the road. I love it. The other items in the shop weren't really my thing, but I find this to be totally charming. The shop is here.

While we're on the topic of buying things, anyone out there have any tips on those Yoga Toes or Yoga Socks? Its not that I'm traveling all the time, but it feels like often enough I find myself in a run down hostel or a carpeted hotel without my mat, and I'd like to be able to have a more full-on practice without schlepping my mat with me, or slipping on the carpet. Any good recommendations, or should I just stick to my hands and feet?

My personal practice is chugging along. I've been going for jogs with my laogong, and thusly my hamstrings and hips are suddenly screaming at me all the time. According to Yoga Journal, I should do lots of lunging to counter this. I should, but I haven't really. Maybe it's the heat, maybe it's my hips, I don't know. I've just been yinning like it's going out of style. Pigeon, frog, badakonasana, cowface; you name it, and I'm in it. It's been nice. I'm enjoying a softer, slower style for the time being.

I'll close with a photo of some liang mian(cold noodles) I recently had. Not sweet nor baked, but nonetheless delicious:

Encounter

2010-07-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

We are eating dinner in the company of four or five Jinmen police officers; the men responsible for keeping safe the inhabitants of this sleepy Taiwanese island. They are, most of them, young and funny, and eager to show us both the beauty of their island, and show us off to the island. We drink Taiwan's number one beer, a better version of Tsing Tao, and eat noodles, fried fish, and spicy tofu. One speaks English nearly flawlessly, and one not at all; most of them understand but find the words becoming warped in their mouths, and simply smile and snap pictures.
When they understand I am a yoga teacher, three nod their heads, ahhing with equal parts admiration and confusion. The officer to my left, however, a short man with limited English but deep enthusiasm for trying, immediately shakes his head. No, he says, no no. It's hot in the restaurant, and his brow is dotted with sweat. He brings both hands behind his right knee, as if to move it up toward his face. No, no, he says again, head wagging back and forth, as the rest of us begin to laugh. Another cop offers up the words Not Flexible! and spins the food back toward him, picking at the tofu. Don't worry, I say, we'll have more beer first, and then you'll get your foot behind your head just fine. His face remains serious as the conversation haltingly shifts toward how good American girls are at drinking beer.

Just a Little Snack

2010-07-27T01:16:00.000-07:00

Nothing better to beat the heat from the beach than a big bowl of shaved ice, sweetened condensed milk and mangos! From Xiamen, Fujian, China. More to come...

Yoga: "The Soul Destroying Poison of the East"

2010-07-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

Nice NYT article (click here) on the introduction of yoga in America, that brings up great questions of what the cultural and economic climate have to be like in order for yoga to catch on at all, and then how those things determine what yoga looks like. And the perpetual question, what is authentic yoga? It's not like yoga is an antique vase and we can call in "Antiques Roadshow" to tell us, no, that's fake, or yes! that's real!!!! Priceless!

Whatever our motivations may be, I think it really can't hurt to just do it. The benefits, on all levels, come to us whether we know what we're getting into or not. Yoga always benefits me in ways I never expected. Sometimes I don't even notice for years. Even if you don't KNOW you're doing it for spiritual transcendence (and i'm not entirely sure on the meaning of that myself), you'll still feel better, act nicer, and love more.

Let Them Eat Cake (And Do Sun Salutes)

2010-07-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

I know that Etsy has been around for awhile, but I've just never really clicked through it. My loss!

I saw this lovely delight on the delightful blog Kingdom of Style, and my heart has been crying for it ever since, in the same way my heart cries for chocolate cake. If only I could have this, and another for the other wrist that says "Let Them Meditate" or "Let Them Do Sun Salutes", and my entire life philosophy would be summed up in two neat little wrist adornments. But seriously, this bracelet evokes cake, and for that reason alone I wish I had 35 USD to throw down and make it my own.

Well, you can't get everything you want. I'm sliding between productivity (organizing my visa run to Taiwan, laundry, planning for my pre-natal class tomorrow) and distraction (Etsy, cake, reading). Life has been stressful and money is tight, but we're doing all we can. Today that means baking cornbread and making a new play list for yoga class later. Pre-natal going well, there was a bit of a learning curve for me, but we're mostly over the hump. We focus on the obvious stuff: hip openers, breathing technique, and side stretching. One breathing technique I'm really enjoying is the Golden Thread, in which you imagine your exhale as a long, golden thread unfurling from your lips. A very relaxing and grounding breath that is easy to do and teach.

Here's the recipe for the chocolate cake. If you put it in the fridge overnight, it magically transforms into a more brownie like cake--dense and rich. I added shredded coconut to mine, but I imagine you can put just about whatever your heart desires in there: nuts, dried cranberries, or even a 1/4 tsp of cayenne pepper for a spicier cake.

Chocolate Cake, from "The Joy of Vegan Baking" by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

1 1/2 cups unbleached AP flour
3/4 granulated sugar (i used about a half cup, and it was fine)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup unsweetened coco powder
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/3 cup canola oil (i've been using soybean oil for awhile now, as it's all that i can find, and it works fine)
1 tablespoon white distilled vinegar
1 cup cold water

Preheat oven to 350 F and lightly oil a 9-inch springform pan, Bundt pan, or muffin tins.

Combine the flour, sugar, salt, baking soda and coco powder in a bowl until thoroughly combined. (basically, mix the dry ingredients first) Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients, and add the vanilla, oil, vinegar, and water. Mix until just combined. Pour into your prepared pan and bake for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. If you're making cupcakes, check for doneness in about 15 minutes.

Cool on a rack (I just let mine sit in the pan, as I have no rack..). For decorational purposes, a fine dusting of confectioner's sugar on top of this old girl would look real purty, or perhaps a nice chocolate frosting, but I think it's pretty tasty all on it's own.

Call up your friends and neighbors, and Let Them Eat Cake!

OM

Heart Mudra: I am in sync with all of life.

2010-07-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

This baby lizard came into my house during the dinner break during our Laura Tyree workshop today. I caught him to release him outside and noticed that he seemed content just sitting on my hand so we did some mudra work together. The first three photos, my hands are in the heart mudra (hridai). Laura's mantra for that chakra is "I am in sync with all of life. I am richly blessed." How appropriate.

Yes, I may have even "yam"ed for him a little bit. Baby yam, for a baby lizard. And no, I'm not talking about the vegetable.

He also posed in the ajna chakra mudra. Mantra: "I enjoy being." To me, lizards constantly embody that mantra. I always love the way they just sit, taking in the sun, doing the occasional push-up of joy (how else do you explain those weird little calisthenics?).

Chakras with Laura Tyree: Friday Night

2010-07-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Finally, Laura is here! She gave us so much information last night but we also got to feel the energetics of the chakras through mudra work, asana, chanting, and meditation. For me, the most obviously effective mudra was the giraffe mudra; it had the instant effect of making me feel lighter and happier. Very cool. I was also grateful to learn that the heart chakra 'ripens' between the ages of 21 and 28. So basically, we're learning how to love more wisely, if I understood correctly. That explains so much and gives me hope. If my heart feels a little incomplete or lost sometimes, well, I'll just wait until I turn 28 on March 8, 2011. There seems to be an almost mathematical or musical orderliness to the chakras. Every seven years a different chakra ripens until we're 35. If your first chakra is unbalanced, it's more likely that your third will be as well. And the same goes for the second and the fourth. Just like in music, you would play every other note to get a harmonious major chord.

Our homework for today is to choose one desire/idea/inspiration we want to make into reality. Just doing the assignment has shown me where I might be holding myself back. I made a list of things, and as I wrote each one down, I could hear my brain frantically telling me to stop, as if just writing it down was asking too much, like a bureaucrat that has to feel important by being consulted on everything. Luckily I'm in Deb Norton's writing class right now so I was able to let the pen forge ahead, leaning against and pushing on through the steady wind of my brain.

Now I know that as I'm dancing around my house to Weezer and cooking brunch this morning, I'm actually doing yoga and balancing my second chakra! "I am filled with pleasure and enthusiasm. I thrive and create." Laura's wonderful mantra for the second chakra is particularly true this morning. Can't wait for the rest of the weekend.

Nostrils: The New Frontier

2010-07-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

In Kira's class on Monday, she had us feeling the movement of our breath in our nostrils as we rotated our weight to the inner edges of the feet, then the outer edges, and back and forth. I have very insensitive nostrils and usually I'm lucky if they can even detect air moving in and out. I just figured they were defective. Casey, for example, and I don't think he'll mind me talking about him, has the most intricate knowledge of what all of his movements do to the flow of breath in his nostrils. I asked him about it, and he just shrugged and said something about doing a lot of Vipassana retreats. So I kind of resigned myself to exclusion from the world of my nostrils until I finally managed to find 10 days to go and do nothing but feel them.

As you may have guessed, this story is leading to the obvious conclusion...yes...I finally felt a significant connection between my feet and my nose. It was so weird that I immediately opened my eyes in a moment of belief and looked at Kira. Class was magical. It was so simple in that we didn't do any vinyasas and maybe one downward facing dog. But the effort of staying tuned to the incredibly subtle sensations in my nose--and letting that inform my movements-- had me sweating and feeling deep into myself. At the same time, it was so energizing. Rejuvenating. Like finding the source of true energy.

We practiced the same thing today in class, and I was sooo glad we did. Because I got to compare experiences. Today I kind of lost the connection to the subtlety in the nostrils. More accurately, my brain took over with its self-doubt, like, "you didn't really feel that; you just wanted to. you're creating the feeling through power of suggestion." My brain needs things to be really obvious before it will believe them I guess. For the longest time I was convinced I had never felt Prana. Hah! Now I feel it all the time. It's not as hard as I thought. I think of it as just 'the feeling of being alive.' Someone once told me, "Feel your feet in contact with the earth," and I must have frowned, squeezed my eyes closed, and tightened my jaw, because then she said "You're trying too hard. It's simpler than that." I think about that all the time with yoga instructions that ask me to feel something. Feeling: It's Simpler Than That. (New Patagonia t-shirt slogan? They can have that one for free)

Hug Your Favorite Banana Tree

2010-07-14T23:46:00.001-07:00

I had such an inspiring day of teaching. And I had the smallest classes ever! Long long ago in a land far far away, I thought being a successful yoga teacher meant that you stood at the front of a room with lots of mirrors, wearing clothes that showed off your yoga booty or core or whatever, and you had lots of sweaty students swarming around you. Can you tell I used to do Bikram? I can't believe how long programming lasts. But all I will say is, today only one person showed up to each of my classes. And I, for one, enjoyed myself. The world did not come to an end. In fact, it opened up a little bit.

Yoga Snack:

At first there was no one. But I just waited. And at 12:09 in walked the most perfect person for that class today. A light-hearted, funny, and kind woman. She requested "gentle." We barely got up off the floor. I had so much fun, and hopefully she did too. When there is only one person the class can be so personalized. I learned a lot and loved being able to have all my attention on just one student. I used a little bit of touch during final resting pose, which I haven't been doing if there's more than one person. Too hard to get to everyone.

I think Yoga Snack might be moving towards an even gentler sequence (it's scary for me to offer "easy." maybe i'm afraid people will be bored). Today, gentle seemed like just the ticket, and I am grateful to my one student for showing me that. Plus, as it gets hotter, there will be no choice.

Restorative:

Funny, the same thing happened. Just one student. My friend showed up. And since she was the only one, I invited her 7 year old daughter in for class too. The results were seriously beautiful. And adorable. I don't know if I would have normally felt so confident about inviting a 7 year old in, but I dropped in for an evening to Betsy Stix's Children's Yoga workshop this weekend, and learned a lot in a short time.

I will never again say "Reclining Bound Angle." It sounds so harsh and mechanical compared to "Resting Butterfly." I said "You are a butterfly and you spent the whole day busily sipping from flowers and now you are just resting." And the little girl, who had fashioned herself an amazing pair of butterfly shoes from the long purple strap, said "Oh, that's how my day at the zoo was for me!"

Her day at the zoo was clearly still on her mind. In Child's pose, she said she felt like a monkey and the bolster was her favorite banana tree. And when wobbling and hugging her knees to her chest she said she felt like a coconut.

Scenes from Sunday

2010-07-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

French toast at Mr. Pancake House with Benjamin and an appropriately titled short story, "Dimanche", from the Persphone catalog I recently got in the mail from England!

An afternoon rainy day yoga photo shoot outtake.

UFO's, a dubious looking and probably tasting but nonetheless common sight in Chinese bakeries.

Woppin' It Out, Shanghai Style

2010-07-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

(Title taken and adapted from the excellent Lauryn Hill song "Every Ghetto, Every City", in the spirit of Zen Muffin's super duper post on Ms. Hill.)

First and foremost:

The Jolly Green Giant! I love my new bike. I love Shanghai when I'm riding my bike. The city teems with charm when you're on a cruiser. Yesterday I rode it to the Garden Hotel Park, which is actually the lawn of a big hotel in the middle of the city. It is one of the only places in the city where people are actually allowed on the grass, which on the weekends makes for a crowded lawn. But on a Wednesday afternoon? Perfect solitude. I rolled out the picnic mat, stripped down to my swim suit, and did an hour's worth of yoga right there in the park. Aside from the swim suit I was sporting, practicing yoga in the park didn't really phase any of the people that strolled by. Many, many Chinese people come to public spaces to practice Tai Chi, take dance lessons, do Kung Fu, or employ Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) tactics while walking (slapping themselves gently on opposite shoulder, clapping one hand up and down arms, etc), so a few sun salutes seemed in the norm. In fact, I might make it my new mid day routine.

After an hour or so, the sweat was beginning to both distract and gross me out. Some friends arrived in the nick of time with home made squirt guns.

The grass seems to invite inversion practice, and we all started flipping upside down; or, at least attempting to flip upside down. Free standing head and hand stands still elude me, but crow and side crow have become a cake walk. I once was afraid of them, so its only a matter of time before I'm on my hands, right?

In sweets-related news, there's not much to report. The oven has been off for a week or so, and the air-con is blasting. In all this heat, the only things that sound good are iced teas, frozen yogurts and cold beers. Good yogurt is hard to find here, and the flavored ones are runny and cloyingly sweet. In an effort to make a sweetened Greek-style yogurt, I drained some plain yogurt overnight in a coffee filter, and then stirred in some fresh squeezed OJ the next morning. It thickened in the fridge, and sucked up all the OJ after a good stirring--pretty good!

That feeling you get when you hear Lauryn Sing

2010-07-05T22:23:00.000-07:00

Lauryn Hill is the dakini of hip-hop. She's in touch with something, I think. NPR published a rare interview with her, in which she says, "That feeling you get [when you hear me sing], I get first." I actually teared up reading this interview. If you're a fan, it's worth reading for just a sip of the wisdom and singularity of "Ms. Hill."

As I inevitably turned on "Miseducation" after reading this article, I heard her singing "karma, karma, karma" and thought, "Lauryn Hill was my first yoga teacher." It's a funny thought. But teachers are everywhere. I was an impressionable 15 when her album came out. It's now one of my favorite albums ever. French Toast and I listened to it so much that we would compete over who knew the fast-moving lyrics the best (remember? "more powerful than 2 cleopatras"). In Iowa, that may well have been the first time I ever heard the word karma in a non-joking context. Maybe I can't really call her a yoga teacher, but I can say that in her I saw what ART looks like, which is not that far off from YOGA. You cut through the illusions and find the truth. Whether you're singing or moving your body or living your life, it will look and sound and feel like real power.

"A Lululemon Clad Priestess"

2010-07-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Here's a hilarious McSweeney's piece containing some painfully true observations of a yoga class gone wrong...where the teacher turns walking her dog into a Spiritual Lesson and uses distracting analogies for everything. A "Lululemon Clad Priestess." This author's poor substitute yoga teacher is probably great, but we never like The Sub for our beloved regular teacher. (Thank god I have regular classes now :)

AN OPEN LETTER
TO THE SUBSTITUTE
YOGA TEACHER WHO
WON'T STOP WITH
THE IMAGERY.

April 16, 2010

- - - -

Dear Substitute Yoga Teacher Who Won't Stop With The Imagery,

It's not like you're the first. Other substitute teachers have come out with some real dillys too. Who can forget "think of your spine as a flexible snake in space?" So I expect people subbing for the regular, non-imagery-inclined-teacher to spout wacky shit.

But the problem with you, Substitute Teacher Who Won't Stop With The Imagery, is that your lust for describing things by what they are not is like a runaway train careening through my body-as-temple on wings of steel. (Accompanied by bouts of psychotic ujjayi breathing.)

It begins as soon as you walk in the door. Like all of us, you've already had some mundane thing happen that day, but your mundane thing is inspirational, annoying in itself. Say you walked the dog and it was sunny. Sun + pet = return to simplicity and unbridled panting. Or maybe the dog ate lots of grass. (Filling the void, freeing the void... something about a heaving void.) Your daily life/revelation is difficult to ignore as you walk among us, a Lululemon clad priestess (to use language you might understand), dispensing epiphanies and the faintest whiff of dog.

Today you told us you played your flute at dawn, prompting the revelation that we are all instruments, all the time. As we began in cross-legged position you observed that our "sits bones" are like that prong thing at the base of a cello. Try as I might, thinking "my ass is a cello" did not help me sit up any straighter. By the time we got to forward lunge with inner thighs conducting prana so as to vibrate the jiggly bits like violin strings, I had an urge to remind you that strings can snap, but kept schtum since I was trying to play my instrument pianissimo. Forte gets you kicked out of yoga.

The first time you appeared it was on Canada's national holiday called, cleverly, "Canada Day." It has no traditions other than sleeping late and drinking. Us regulars dragged our sorry cellos out of bed and came to yoga anyway; little knowing that while in triangle position we'd be forced to view one extremity as Vancouver, the other as Halifax. (I guess even you aren't flexible enough to cross the Gulf of St. Lawrence to Newfoundland.) I had to do a meditation on vodka tonics just to try and block out the imagery, but the stress of trying to relax with you in the room made me strain a muscle in Halifax anyway.

So here's the thing. I don't want to think of my kneecaps rising like excited birds in flight just because you happened to see cormorants wheeling across the city as if someone were hunting them (which maybe someone was because they're really filthy birds). I don't want to embrace risk with my heart center because your house offer fell through. (Since when can a yoga teacher afford to buy a house?). I just want to do the goddamn yoga. So please stop with the imagery, already.

Sincerely,
Li Robbins

Link to the original

Animals Strike Curious Poses

2010-06-29T23:54:00.000-07:00

Meet Shashi, one of three reasons I have been offline a lot more often lately. Shashi means "moonbeam" in Hindi, and more obscurely, Shashi Desphande happens to be one of my favorite authors. I won't overwhelm you with pics because my internet connection is slow as molasses, but don't worry, Victor and M.I.A. will be starring in a blog post soon. I'm hoping I'll catch a chicken doing yoga. You never know; the Polish hen was trying to ride my bike the other day.

I had to give them a stylish home, of course. I found these stickers of the London skyline for six bucks at Target, et voila!

Cute Kid Teaches Me About Fun

2010-06-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

This kid has totally tapped into his own totally awesome flow. The words might be nonsense, but he's got the ukelele down! Not only is he super cute wearing that fat tie and those suspenders, but he seems to be really enjoying himself!

Huang Mei Days

2010-06-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

Man, it's a hot one. It's been raining on and off for about a week and half, and when it's not directly raining, the moisture hangs in the air like a thick, suffocating curtain. The locals call this season huang mei tian, or yellow mold days. In about three weeks, the rainiest part of the season will have passed, and it'll be time to set out shoes and coats to dry in the sun. I'm pretty much over it.

This morning my friend Phoenix came over to do a yoga video. We switched on the air con, but it was still too muggy. The video was Kino MacGregor's Ashtanga practice, it's okay. We ended up just chatting on our mats and stretching mildly. My personal practice has been dampened with all the rain, the last few weeks I've been, to put it kindly, wilted. Most of my private peeps have left for their summer holidays, and since coming back from my own holiday, business is slow, or even bad. So I've been slow, and even bad. Instead of rolling out my mat, I've been rolling out dough: I've made coconut bread, banana bread, spinach/carrot/ginger muffins and countless attempts at frozen yogurt. I cooked a quiche and a loaf of brown bread. Not to mention the huge pot of popcorn I've been making every night for dinner. Summer so far is an eater.

I don't mind saying I haven't been feeling much joy lately in practicing. It just feels like work. Teaching wise, the next big gig is a pre-natal class twice a week. I'm looking forward to that one, pre-natal yoga is a true pleasure, and a constant learning experience. If anyone out there is doing pre-natal or has in the past, I'd love to hear what you love doing in your classes.

More to come soon. Ben just turned on "The Pacific", part four. Better go grab myself one of those spinach/carrot/ginger muffins.

I'm Baaaack!

2010-06-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

After a long and desperate time of no VPN, I'm pleased to say I've come out from behind the Great Firewall triumphant! Let us celebrate with this photo of a Five Pointed Star pose in a pool in Xiamen, China.

Reclining Buddha.

2010-06-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

Good morning! And now, a completely gratuitous cute cat photo since we have cat fever right now at Lulu Bandha's. Here's my stray cat (named George Clooney) laying in Reclining Buddha pose.

So I'm a Yoga Teacher Now...

2010-06-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, sometimes I can't believe we have followers! We share our hearts and our yoga sequences and sometimes our silliest thoughts. We forget to post sometimes. We post too much sometimes. So thanks for following whether you're on the public "followers" list or you just read in stealth. Apparently, a few of you do. Love you all!

---

This is also posted at Lulu Bandha's new online yogi community, called The Garden. Please join and post your very own blogs!

---

I am so lucky to be a teacher at Lulu Bandha's. Sometimes I feel like it must be the happiest place on earth, and that happiness radiates out from Ojai to the universe.

I suppose I should talk about the experience of being a new teacher. But it's been so BIG and....not overwhelming exactly...but consuming. In a good way. Like finals week in college used to feel back in the day. Tons of prep time and fretting, but also pride in the work. And a sense of exponential learning, which is such a satisfying, dynamic feeling. I've been pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoy teaching, even though I often get frustrated with myself or insecure about endless silly things.

As usual, attending Kira's classes helps so much in unexpected, deep ways. Before my own class the other day I was feeling nervous and unprepared despite hours of doing everything from drinking liver-cleansing tea to watching videos to reading books to simply getting people to come. So I tried changing my thoughts. I said to myself, from as genuine a feeling as possible, "This is going to be a good class! It will be fun." And arriving with that expectation and attitude in my being, it was! It seems as though there's a fine line between suppressing feelings and letting go of ones that are holding you back.

I'm starting to notice that there are many instructions in yoga that seem simple but are in fact incredibly rich in meaning and have continued to reveal new flavors over the years. Things like "breathe into it" and "listen to your body" and "accept" and above all "relax." One day I'll suddenly 'discover' breathing, and it'll feel like I've never quite breathed before in my life. And now that I'm teaching I'm 'discovering' relaxing. I almost have a feeling that all the time on my mat has been solely to prepare me to be brave enough to show up at the studio 4 times a week and sit in the teacher spot. So that then and only then, I could finally begin my learning and relaxing.

Photo-Illustrated Haiku

2010-06-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

Pastry love from Lisa.

Farm girl, dancer, yogini.

Mountain mustard blooms.

THX much!

2010-05-25T14:54:00.000-07:00

In honor of this beauty I'd like to post the following:

Happy Tuesday, Sweet Tarts!

Don't make confused noises while chanting

2010-05-07T23:34:00.001-07:00

When in China, try to chant like you know what you're doing, please! This photo is from a NYT photo collection of signs written in "Chinglish," all located in Shanghai, where my sister Sarah lives (and teaches yoga). Complete photo gallery here.

Garden. And My Big Teaching Week.

2010-05-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm going to be persistent: join the Lulu Bandha's Online Garden if, like me, you're a bit of a nerd about yoga! Or if you are new to the practice and have questions. There are also lots of new teachers joining and connecting with each other.

This was my biggest week of yoga teaching yet, with three classes. I am starting to feel limited if I bring in a written-out plan. My written plan is getting a BIT more skeletal, more general, to allow room for meeting who shows up and for just going with what feels most right in the moment. I still plan out a meticulous moment-by-moment game plan the night before but then inevitably say 'forget it,' when I get to class, to an extent anyway.

Tuesday Vinyasa Basics was an amazing challenge because there was quite a big group so a)it was hard to feel into a common energy level and b)my fear level was higher. I struggled with the nervousness about not being their usual beloved teacher. I am still practicing a lot as I teach, at least for these slightly faster-moving classes. I break away for small periods of time and try to push myself to stay away longer. I'm afraid of getting mixed up and not knowing what to say next. Ironically, though, I think actually watching the students more will help me know what to say. It's like letting go of my feet on one cliff and jumping and trusting that there will be another.

Thursday was a delight and a challenge in a completely different way. 2 students came, both on the same page, wanting to 'graduate' to a more challenging physical level after lots of Basics and Stiff White Guys classes. Neither wanted it to be too flowy, so I tried to meet that by holding things a little longer and tweaking and exploring, but I also heard a little voice saying not to obsess TOO much about trying to make them happy with the flowiness level. I just tried my best to offer what I felt would help put them in touch with That Yoga Feeling. We moved towards wheel pose, using Kira's hallelujah arms approach in the salutations. Then we did Bridge, then we played with Wheel a couple times. I showed pushing into it using the crease between the floor and the wall and tried to emphasize only going in if you're feeling relaxed about it. Success!

I'm starting to really look forward to the Yoga Crib! It's feeling real, and not very far away!

Recovery and Feeling Like a Real Yoga Teacher

2010-05-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is also posted on The Garden, a blossoming little online yoga community of people who love to talk about yoga endlessly. I am helping Kira host it. It's free and ad-free. We want to meet you.

I subbed again tonight for Winifred's Yoga for Recovery class. It was a good experience for me because the energy level of this class is all over the place. One time it was super low, and some beginners showed up. Then last week I came with a nice easy class and met a group of regular yogis who wanted "level 3." So this week I knew I couldn't count on anything. I prepared for any level but I spent most of my time prepping a more rigorous class, which paid off because 2 regular, athletic yogis showed up who requested something harder. It was FUN! I shook off some of my nervousness about messing up the vinyasas by just saying at the beginning, "Ok, we will work, but feel free to correct me if I say the wrong foot or something." That helped me feel more free to experiment and not worry about the salutations being perfect, by-the-book flows. One student had been cycling all day and wanted to stretch her quads so we really checked in low lunge several times and even held it for a couple minutes yin style. Also, I said "butt" finally. I felt stupid saying this before. Ha!

I'm finally starting to feel like a yoga teacher. The pieces are starting to come together and feel more natural. I love this job so far. I'm teaching this week on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 8:30 and am so happy about it. Come join me if you're in Ojai!

Sit (I went back to suggesting the setting of an intention, which I had dropped for a while)

Here I immediately deviated from my notes, which would have taken us to our backs for quite a while. Because they were both gung-ho for moving I felt like we should make the warm-up more vigorous.

Cat/Cow & wide hip circles

Twisting Eye of the Needle (arms threading, not legs)

Easy Side Plank with cat/cow between

Plank

Dog

Abdominal leg curls, 3 each leg

Plank to Baby Cobra

Extended Child's

Dog

Uttanasana

3 1/2 Salutes

Salute with High Crescent Lunge

(After the 1st lunge, did Dog. After the 2nd lunge, did plank to baby cobra to rocket cat to dog, then hop/step to uttanasana)

Salute with Warrior I, Set up arms and legs from there then dive into Twisting Lunge, then Low Lunge, no arms

(again, did the vinyasa after doing both sides, we did a locust, rocket cat, dog, hop/step forward)

In Tadasana, check in hallelujah, swamp monster, and then Urdvha Danurasana arms.

Salute with Warrior I and hallelujah arms, triangle, low lunge with urdhva danurasana arms

(vinyasa after both sides, including baby cobra, locust, big cobra, rocket cat,dog, hop/step forward)

Think I'm forgetting something because at some point we did a yin-style lunge

Final vinyasa was a bow pose followed by rocket cat and child's.

Pigeon or eye of the needle

Bicycle Crunches (they wanted vigorous :)

Slow Leg Lowering and lifting

Bridge

Bridge with Wheel option. It's amazing what a certain choice of words can prompt. I said "take your favorite backbend," meaning either bridge or wheel. But one student said, "my favorite backbend? then i'll do this," and she went into camel. The remaining two of us followed shortly and so it really felt like 3 yogis practicing together, rather than a teacher-student thing. So beautiful.

Happy Baby

Supine Spinal Twist

Savasana

Namaste

Garden. And Restorative Yoga.

2010-04-27T23:19:00.000-07:00

Just posted this at THE GARDEN, Lulu Bandhas' new online yoga community for blogging and getting to know a bunch of super nice fellow yogis. Everyone is welcome to join! I am helping Kira host it, so you will see me if you join!

Wow! I have been without late-night internet access for a month and I've only had a nebulous vision of what would be happening in The Garden. I've started reading through the blogs and I am so excited to get to know you all and share our inspirations and questions and yoga-love!

I taught yoga tonight; I stood in for Alana as the Restorative teacher. It was my first time teaching Restorative and I loved it (almost) as much as I love DOING Restorative. For the same reason: the spaciousness of silence. I was able to sink in myself a little bit and really check in with each student. I felt like a mother hen sitting and keeping on eye on her babies (sorry, I was just living on a farm so chickens are on my mind). I didn't actually sit on anyone, I promise. But once I felt like alignment was clear and I'd given enough guidance towards breathing and releasing, I could just meditate on the moment. It was really nice. I did wonder, were my silences were too long? But then, speaking would have felt so disruptive. There's much I need to work on but I won't go into that today. I just want to enjoy the new fresh experience right now.

Here's my sequence:::

Watering the heart 10 min

Side Lying Rest 5 min

Cat/Cow: a few rounds

Supported swan 3-5 min ea. side

transition: leg extensions or gentle dog

Reclining Bound Angle (Supta Baddha Konasana) 10 min

Side Lying Rest Pose 3 min

Legs Up Wall

Transition: Slide back to Savasana, removing bolster

Teaching Yoga Basics

2010-04-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

A week ago today, I taught Yoga Basics for Alana. Kira came along and observed!! Which makes me pretty much an official yoga teacher now. :)

I can see how much practice I need to get to where I'd like to be, but I try to enjoy the onrush of learning that happens every time I teach. My favorite part is the satisfaction of taking care of people.

I'll be teaching Yoga for Recovery this Saturday and Restorative Yoga on Tuesday. Please come! Here's the schedule...

Restorative Heart Opener on Bolster

Savasana without props, feel the difference

Windshield Wipers

Apanasana with block under sacrum

Hamstring stretch with block under sacrum (I think I need to try this with a block and a blanket because the block starts to feel so hard and uncomfortable after a while)

Seated side seaweed stretching (it's a tongue twister!)

Plank to Down Dog to Belly

Demo of Plank to Down Dog emphasizing the press ("Press all the way to China. Hi Sarah!")

Repeat Plank to Down Dog

Baby Cobra

Extended Child's

Uttanasana

Tadasana with Ujjayi Breath

Easy High Lunge Salute with Blocks

Easy Salute with Blocks: high and low lunge

Hug knees to chest, wobble

Eye of the Needle Hip Opener

Easy supine twist

Legs up the wall

Savasana

Taxes

2010-04-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious! I'm sure a few yoga teachers out there can relate to this tax form:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/04/13/opinion/20100413_opart.html

Like A Girl Scout, I'm (getting)Prepared

2010-04-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight my yoga practice was folding a load of clothes, a headstand, and ten plank/dolphin pushups while singing along to Peaches. The class I was meant to teach this evening was cancelled, and I'm secretly (not so secretly) glad. It's raining, for the third Tuesday in a row, and although yesterday was a golden tinged spring day, the air is cold and dry. Shanghai springtime is a volatile season, it seems; I'd like to do a cleanse, but with the weather wardrobe swinging between scarves and shorts it feels like a good way to get sick.

I suppose more than anything it's about being prepared. Bringing your umbrella when the sky looks wet and dark, or carrying a sweater in your backpack. I am so often, these days, unprepared. I am unprepared for how tired teaching four classes a day makes me feel, and unprepared for the weight on my shoulders when I roll up to headstand. It doesn't make any sense, though, because intellectually I know my body is heavy, and I will need to support it with my shoulders and arms. I came down and curled into child's pose, not because I wanted to, but because so many other people do after an inversion. It did not serve me well. A crushing sensation set across my shoulders as I reached my arms back, and forward. I wondered for a moment if my heart and lungs were being slowly suffocated by my rib cage and shoulder muscles. My knees were together, and the subsequent support on my chest was too much. I sat up and did some stuff with my shoulders, stretching my triceps and biceps. The crushing let up.

Well, it's been a few days since I wrote all that, and I have not attempted any more headstands. In fact, I've been emphasizing my tight hips and hamstrings. I'm unprepared to suddenly join the masses who complain of inflexible forward folds and hips that won't open. I'm a flexie-bendie! But here I am, wincing in my forward folds and cringing during pigeon. I don't know what happened, but just admitting that I need to take more care was huge. My tired muscles seem no longer willing to melt into any old asana, and thusly I have to prepare more before practicing, before teaching. It's a big lesson, and it extends to all corners of my life. My Chinese visa expires next week, and I've had 90 days to plan for it. But I'm scrambling nonetheless, calling the Exit and Entry Bureau asking for an extension, searching flights to Taiwan or Hong Kong, and counting my savings hoping it multiplied over night. I read somewhere (or probably heard on TV) one definition of 'crazy' is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome. If that's true, then I'm certifiable.

I said to Ben last night my new morning ritual will be ten sun salutations. Full disclosure: it's morning, and I haven't done any yet. But I plan to. Right now. I'm just getting prepared with a cup of coffee and some blogging.

"Normal people would find this appealing."

2010-04-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

Erich Schiffmann is known as Papa Bear at Lulu Bandha's. It's so obvious why in this video, in which he talks about what yoga feels like energetically and emotionally. He gives a much more inspiring description than "you'll feel more relaxed," which sounds great but sort of makes it sound like the goal is to be half asleep. I felt happier just watching this video. Favorite quote: "Normal people would find this appealing."

Yoga on the Farm!

2010-04-08T02:00:00.001-07:00

just click on the video and watch it on the youtube page. blogger cuts off so much!

Modern Day Mantras

2010-04-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

Here I am. Sitting in a tin can. OM. David Bowie, “Space Oddity” (Especially appropriate if practicing in a spaceship, car, or trailer)

I got weight on my shoulders. And things. On my mind. OM. (Beastie Boys, “The Move”)

I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul. OM. (Radiohead, “Creep”)

Breathe. Keep Breathing. OM. (Radiohead, “Exit Music For a Film)

I feel it all. OM. (Feist, “I Feel it All”)

My mind is filled with radio cures. Electronic surgical words. OM. (Wilco, “Radio Cures”)

Change is hard. I should know. OM. (She & Him, “Change is Hard”)

Hold me. OM. (Weezer, “Hold Me”)

I’m only a woman. Of flesh and bone. (Rilo Kiley, “I Never”)

This tornado loves you. (Repeat 3 times) OM. (Neko Case, “This Tornado Loves You”)

I don’t want nothing if I have to fake it. OM. (Lucinda Williams, “I Lost It”)

Come with me to the sea of love. OM. (Cat Power’s version, “Sea of Love”)

Everything I think I know is just static on the radio. OM. (Jim White & Aimee Mann, “Static on the Radio”)

Say You Were Split in Fragments and None of the Pieces Would Talk to You

2010-04-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

"Say you were split, you were split in fragments, and none of the pieces would talk to you." Aimee Mann

This is my first Yogery post in a while because I’ve moved to a mini-farm and I’m temporarily staying in this girl-ified trailer with pigs, roosters, dogs, goats, chickens, and ducks as neighbors and companions. I have no internet out in the trailer so I’m writing this post offline. I haven’t even checked my email or Facebook in over 36 hours now and I alternate between feeling agitated about that and complete freedom.

Doug Keller visited Lulu Bandha’s this weekend. I got to spend nine hours with friends learning all about the psoas, the sacrum, and yoga and the emotions. Today was dense and inspiring. Doug is a former professor, so I could easily pretend I was back in school, seeing the world open up before me. I know I enjoyed a workshop when I come away wanting a new career. This time I want to be either a sage who just plays with spiritual practices and writes about it all day or an ayurvedic doctor. : )

These are some of my notes and responses to today’s talk on yoga and the emotions; there’s much much more but in the words of Levar Burton, “don’t take my word for it."

-“You have permission to have a spiritual experience in your own way…Peacefulness doesn’t work for everyone.”

-We got a comprehensible overview of the evolution of different traditions and how they eventually led to hatha yoga and ayurveda. Schools of thought have alternately rejected and embraced God/Brahman as a deity. The body as well has been either rejected or embraced as a path or an obstacle to samadhi. Kashmir Shaivism is my favorite school of thought because according to Doug they accepted the world in all its everyday realism and duality but also believed that underneath that is the unified spiritual layer. They accepted all the previous traditions as real and true. I love this. I wonder, would it make any sense at all to say my new stance on God is “I believe in God and I don’t believe in God” ? Both seem incredibly true at different moments. It's not agnostic confusion; it's perspective.

Doug quoted the Dalai Lama, who said that if you just give up your previous beliefs too easily, you become "homeless in your own heart." I teared up in meditation tonight thinking about that. I can be a yogini without giving up my intellectually acquired existentialist leanings? And I can be an existentialist without giving up my previous Catholicism? It’s all good. In order of appearance, my spiritual life has consisted of 1)Wholehearted Catholic Faith, 2)Less wholehearted Catholic dutifulness, 3) Existentialism a la Camus, 4) I’d Rather Just Focus on Getting through College than think about this nonsense aka the Mind is the Only Truth, 5) Zen Buddhism, and 6) Yoga (but mostly as a physical practice and self-help at best, if we are honest with ourselves). With varying "schools of thought" in each of those overarching epochs. Being in love always overrides them all, too. I should probably be less flippant and more edited when talking about this stuff.

-Humans relate to/communicate with the universe through sacrifice. Fire/agni is the medium between heaven and earth. (fascinating to connect this with Ravi Ravindra’s thoughts on Christ and sacrifice as necessary for the cosmic order)

-"Sound and light are two sides of same coin, so sound can make you realize you are light."

-There was an atheist sage! Kapila rejected Brahman and religion and the caste system. He did believe in eternal souls so I don’t know if I’d really call that atheist but he does get lots of atheist cred for rejecting Brahman. Bold.

-Rasa is the most essential flavor of an experience. Emotions are the rasas of our everyday lives. Good works of art make us feel all the rasas, or all the flavors of life, without necessarily going through the actual experiences being depicted. In this way we safely learn and mature. I was glad to hear confirmation that my taste in culture can be a part of and not contradictory to my yoga life. Watching Revolutionary Road last night was just part of my practice.

-We get stuck in emotions because our body produces certain chemicals that build up over time, thus creating an endless cycle. But we can make the choice and say to ourselves something like, “I don’t want to be an angry person anymore.” And we can change surprisingly quickly. The INTENTION goes a long way towards creating change.

-It is the MIND (manomaya kosha?) that asks if life is worth living when things are rough. We have many other layers. I wondered if then someone who is facing this question could be made aware of all these other layers of identity (annamaya kosha, vijnanamaya kosha, etc) so that the mind doesn’t dominate so much. So many people ask that same question. It’s a central theme to a lot of great art. So why are so many of us asking that question? I take it so much for granted and even expect it; I often distinguish good art from bad by whether it addresses this question. Like, “wow, that movie or book went so deep.” When really it only went to the Mind Layer. Theoretically. Again, Revolutionary Road is a good example.

-The universe didn’t start with a thought; it started with a feeling, a “movement in god’s heart.” (spanda in Sanskrit) The Spanda Karikas is a collection of meditation practices that allow us to feel that spanda sensation. I believe he said they were from the Kashmir Shaivism school. Seems worth a gander.

Eee Chee and Hoo Chee

2010-04-02T02:26:00.000-07:00

Testing out the waters of a new class, with mostly Chinese speaking students. It is a totally new animal. Cell phones ring, and are answered, during class. There is coughing, hacking, a little spitting. I speak English, but very little is understood, and thus I demo frequently. In fact, demoing isn't the right description: I practice. The entire class, while speaking. Sweat drips down my back and my breath shreds through my chest. Its like Zen Muffin observed earlier--it's important to do the whole posture when demoing, and the same concept applies here. If I skip the chatarunga, or push half way into wheel and then come back down, my students do, too. But the yoga gets across. They hear 'blah blah blah', but their triangles look great. Holding one hand up like 'stop', or 'stay' holds the pose for me while I make adjustments. A friend taught me the words in Mandarin for breath in (eee-chee) and breath out (hoo-chee). What's amazing is that while saying the words, the breath happens naturally. And for the record, I'm certain I've spelled both of those words incorrectly. I went for phonetic rather than correct.

As for me, lots of eee-chee and hoo-chee. In an effort to make better and cheaper eating choices, we sent our ayi to the market for heaps of vegetables, but they're still in the fridge. I did manage to locate 'the' woman on Wulumuqi Lu who sells things like avocados and blueberries incredibly cheap. All the laowai talk about her; it's as if she discovered what foreigners like, and dedicated her store to providing those things. In the back, she's got a fridge full of creme fraiche and cheese. Eating an avocado last night with a little salt sprinkled on top was such a comforting experience that when it was finished I felt so satisfied the need to hunt for sweets in the cupboard had dissolved.

This is what I'm looking for in my yoga. That defining, satisfying practice that erases the doubt or tension that swirls itself around my bones and embeds in my muscles. And it's so easy to get: just listen. Figure out what you need, and then get it. What amazes me is how often I ignore myself. At the end of my classes, I ask my people to take a breath of gratitude toward themselves and their bodies, for what they are able to do, and having the willingness to do those things. It strikes me occasionally how huge that is, the willingness to do. You have to grow it. It doesn't come from nowhere. Practice. I think about how Kira asks us to listen at the end of class, and I ask the same of my people. Why I get up to make a piece of toast instead is beyond me.

Long ago in training at CPY, we wrote down a phrase or a mantra on a piece of paper and clipped it to the top of our mat. I don't even remember what I wrote now, but I'm sure it was deep and meaningful. Today I'm going to write "figure out what you need, and then get it." Or maybe, "just listen".

eat your heart out

2010-03-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

the past few weeks i've had rough dreams; the kind of dreams you will yourself not to have before falling asleep, but can feel their roots spreading in your brain even as your eyes close. typically i have a week of vivid dreams before my period arrives, but the timing isn't right now. there's a lot of stress in my waking life currently--money issues, mostly--and of course the anxiety feeds the dream machine, but they're not all bad. a few nights ago i dreamed of skipping down santa monica blvd, literally skipping.

it's been kind of a food week over here. i didn't teach much yoga, for one reason or another, and have been slowly fighting some weird version of the flu for about a week. this meant i was home, a lot. so i ate, a lot. i baked things, like cinnamon rolls and coffee cake, whole wheat biscuits and something i can only call 'a poor girl's pound cake'--by the time i made the pound cake, i'd run out of milk, soy milk, flour and had only a little sugar left. i used water and oil, and swirled half a jar of jam into the pan to sweeten the cake. it was a moderate success.

but all this baking means a whole lot of eating. so this morning, after mindlessly making a poor girl's pound cake butter sandwhich (it is exactly what it sounds like: a slice of cake cut in half and a slab of salted butter stuffed in between.), i said good bye to my boyfriend cheerily, dancing around at the top of the stairwell and humming. you're so happy today, he said, happily. i know! i exclaimed, what a sunny, beautiful day it is! la la la la, etc. he left, both of us so happy.

fifteen minutes later i was standing in front of the kitchen sink, ready to crawl down it. i was so tired. the corners of my mouth dragged toward my chin, i felt like my head weighed a hundred pounds. all week, this has been happening. around noon i crash hard. like, speeding car into a brick wall crash. as i stumbled around the kitchen fixing a cup of tea to soothe my strangely upset stomach, i eyed the pan of pound cake. eureka. with a big spoon i mashed up all the remaining cake into a ball and poked it while going over the ingredient list in my head. white sugar. white flour. vegetable oil. cheap sugary jam. i then considered the other things i'd baked this week, and a surge of self loathing hurled itself up from the pit of my belly. i felt, to put it kindly, disgusting. i'd baked all these things and then eaten them entirely without thinking, without pause, and then allowed myself to mope around all week.

but, what happened has happened. i threw out the rest of the cake (i should say that half of it was not edible--the oven i use is unreliable at best, and burns easily. the back half of cake burned badly. so throwing it out was not a totally wasteful, vengeful act.) and put the butter back in the fridge, came upstairs and rolled out my mat. i still felt like a total whale. my belly was growling at me; a strange sensation of mentally knowing you're full, but your body is requesting actual nutrition. child's pose called to me. i envisioned apana with each exhale, get it out, get it out. gradually making my way to downward dog, then a feeble chatarunga and a half hearted high cobra. this wasn't working for me. i rolled over and put my face toward the sunny spot on the floor, closing my eyes. a few moments later, i was ready again. i did ten snail paced sun salutes. the first few rounds weren't good--i felt like my body was as heavy as iron, and my muscles like stringy pieces of gum. by the fifth one, i wasn't feeling strong, but i did feel capable. a lunge salute followed, and then a long rest in pigeon on each side.

i realize now my dreams might be caused, in part, by my week of food. maybe my week of instability in general--i simply did not do enough this week, and ate as if every last meal was my last. my boyfriend and i are planning on meeting on the pudong side of the river this evening to walk along the canal, and i had planned to bake a little coffee cake to take with us. i think i'll steam some broccoli instead. the funny thing is my stomach is seriously growling!

Safe Spaces, from Casey

2010-03-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

Just found this on old friend Casey's yoga blog..maybe because I know him, or maybe because it's true, or truly funny, but in my opinion it is pretttttty funnnny!

Baking is like Sequencing

2010-03-22T05:40:00.000-07:00

The weather is shifting again, and with it the dust from the thousands of construction sites across Shanghai. Walking to the subway on the way to the studio I felt the stinging of exhaust, pollution and dry wind on my cheeks, and nearly took a shower when I got there. You get the feeling of turning into chalk during China springtimes, I'm learning. Sandstorms in Beijing, I hear, so it could be worse.

With the dry air and hazy pollution comes sore throats and runny noses. The weekend was spent mostly at home, snuggled up in bed or in the bath. The worst of it is over, but I'm still practicing much slower. Lots of just lying down on the mat in "savasana". (does it count as a savasana if you just collapsed onto the floor after crescent lunge and decided to stay?!) Tonight was flow at the studio, and several peeps came who I hadn't seen since Chinese New Year. Seeing them, and the feeling of overwhelming gratitude I felt upon arriving in the clean, welcoming space of the studio, gave me a surge of energy that I needed. Our big pose was coming from Dancer's into Half Moon.

Money's been tight for us lately, and pinching kuai is not super fun. But I'm learning a lot about myself, and budgeting, and that's important. More importantly, though, is the sense of thankfulness I'm cultivating for my job, and for all my private students. I am approaching every class with a deep happiness to be there, and it's making everything so much nicer. It's surprising how stressful everyday life can make someone, and being mindful of having the presence to be grateful for being able to do work at all is so crucial for me. Also, I'm listening to "Don't Worry, Be Happy" on my iPod pretty much constantly.

What I came here to say, though, was not about saving a few kuai by taking the metro, or buying noodles down the street instead of from the fancy schmancy Western place. I wanted to talk about cinnamon rolls. I made some this morning, using a recipe I've used before, but this time I didn't have any cream, so I used milk. This was a mistake! After about a minute of stirring, the dough should have formed a nice ball, so that I could knead it in the bowl a few times without really disturbing it's shape. This was not the case. The dough was goopy, runny and after removing my hands from the bowl, they looked like I was wearing thick, dripping gloves. I suppose the lesson is that milk is too thin to hold the rest of the ingredients together.

At first, I felt extremely frustrated, mostly the mess I was creating. But also, this recipe was called "Quick Cinnamon Biscuits", and I'd made it before--it should have been so easy! I stayed calm. I forced myself to think creatively. I added more flour and stirred till my arm ached. Still gooey. I added even more flour. Stirred and stirred. I coated my hands with flour and started kneaded and patting until a loose ball took shape. Victory!

Taste wise, they're about the same as I remember. Visually they look a little whiter, and are rather firm to the touch. But otherwise, you'd never know I dumped an extra cup and half of flour in there. My point is, my yoga sequencing is like these biscuits, or rather, like all the recipes I follow that turn out deliciously. I know what I need and where it will end up, how it will look. I've been so afraid to make mistakes that I'm getting into a rut (both with baking and with my practice! i keep making the same vanilla orange cupcakes over and over again because i know they're so good) I know I'm veering into cheeseball territory here, but it really struck me how much I'm afraid of letting my creative brain to any work. When I sequence a class, I stick to the same rotating rolodex of poses, and when I bake, I only use recipes and rarely make substitutions--what if it turns out badly!? Then what will I do?! (usually eat it anyway..)

So tonight was an excersise in getting away from the recipe. I made an outline of flows I wanted to do, like always, and then I relied on my intuition and creativity to lead. It was fine! It was wonderful! We started with a cycle of five lunge salutes, and then moved into the Warrior sequence. After a vinyasa, we repeated the Warrior dance but added Triangle, Knee to Nose, and then Revolved Triangle. I've never approached Revolved Triangle like this, as hard as it is to believe. It felt so natural!

I'm trying to shake myself out of my yoga box. Watching DVDs, youtube videos, reading blogs and old Yoga Journals. I'm not shelving the old poses, though--we still did a prayer twist tonight. That one is like the orange vanilla cupcakes--it's just too good.

Class Six

2010-03-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight I subbed for Winifred's Yoga for Recovery class. I was super nervous but measurably less so than the first 5 classes even though this was only my second more flowing, non-yin class. So that's a big improvement and makes teaching yoga seem a lot more appealing. I assume that the calmer and more connected I am, the better a class it will be...at least I will enjoy it more!

Observations:

I realized I had to rid myself of the ridiculous notion that I had to say profound things and just focus on getting the physical instructions out as clearly as possible. Those can be taken metaphorically often enough that maybe people will THINK I'm being profound.

It's 100% impossible to tell what people are thinking about you and your class.

It's surprisingly hard for me not to be cheesy at certain moments. I tried really hard to stay genuine but sometimes catch phrases want to pop out that don't really come from me and so I feel weird saying them. Again, tried to just focus on the physical instructions. And I'm fine with "element" instructions because those happen to have meaning for me. It really works for me to connect with feelings of earthiness or fluidity. So I brought those in a lot.

I feel better about certain parts of the sequence than others. There is so much freedom beginning at the 60 minute mark that I get scared there. I mean, the first 30 minutes are warm-up, easy enough. The second 30 minutes are a basic salutation or 2. And then? A peak pose followed by wind-down? Am I thinking about it too much?

There was one moment, while demoing and talking through a salutation, when I had the time to think, "Wow! I'm teaching yoga and it's kind of fun!"

Re: Demoing: I have to be super careful because people copy every little thing I do. If I start demoing a bridge, I'd better finish it instead of sitting up because visual learners will sit up too.

It's hard to be funny but I wish I could figure that out more often.

It does not help to think critically of your own yoga practice. In the middle of doing crescent lunge with the class, for some reason I thought, "Mine isn't good enough." But it passed.

On a related note, as a sub, I tried my best to let go of the feeling of "Sorry I'm not Winifred! I know she's so loving and plays nice music. Come back next week for that!"

It's so nice when friends are there.

It helps to wear a new lemon-colored tank top. And leggings are a refreshing change from heavy, thick yoga pants.

The group: 5 strong, energetic practitioners

The sequence:

Sit

Sukhasana forward fold both sides

Cat/cow rounds

Barrel Roll

Hip Circles

EZ Side Plank with cat/cow in between

Extended Child's

(Had planned to do Supta Padha Gustasana but group seemed so energetic I skipped it and went towards standing)

Squat and Cowboy Negotiation pose (just because I love saying that)

Tadasana feeling Ujjayi along back, front, and middle lines

3 Half Salutations

Lunge Salute with lunge and dog only

Tadasana with shoulder work with strap

Uttanasana with strap/interlaced fingers

Sun salutation:

Twisting lunge

Hammock

Low lunge with hamstring play

Crescent lunge

Vinyasa: Baby Cobra-Baby Penguin (Locust)-Big Cobra-Windshield Wiper-Rocket Cat

Sequence other side

Vinyasa: Sphinx-Seal-Child's

Pigeon Left Side

I totally copied this next brilliant move from Winifred's class on Tuesday, hope that's ok!

Transition from Pigeon to Ardha Matseyandrasana

Then I randomly added in Half Cow-Face since the legs were already nearly set up for it.

Shake legs out, rest in Starfish

Other Side

Starfish

Bridge

Savasana

Namaste

Here's Me, In Natarajasana

2010-03-17T03:08:00.000-07:00

Just Joking! It's supermodel Gisele. It's so funny, though, because I totally have that same yoga outfit!

True Hollywood Story: YOGA TEACHERS

2010-03-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

Some of this is like, wow. But I did laugh a little at the male instructor.

Flat Stanley Takes a Nice Long Savasana

2010-03-13T20:11:00.000-08:00

My cousin Jenny and her son Jake have sent me a doll, Flat Stanley, to visit me for a few weeks in Shanghai.. My job is to host him around town and answer the hard questions "Have you ever seen a dragon?" and "What do dumplings taste like?". Stanley had the pleasure of coming to work with me and here he is, resting and restoring in a nice, long savasana.

Yesterday's flow class was nice. A good group of yogis willing to do work. Our 'peak' pose was revolved half moon. Thought about taking it to the wall for emphasis, but there was a good flow and it felt too disruptive. I realize as both a teacher and student I tend to enter and exit the asanas quickly, and I'm trying out this new slow movement. I think the 'one breath, one movement' training from CPY is engrained into my brain, but I'm learning that breath and movement can look and feel like anything I want it to.

You Don't Have a Chance Unless You've Got Those Moves that She Likes

2010-03-11T23:48:00.000-08:00

I am making progress in the arena of Not Thinking So Much. I know this to be true because I DANCED tonight. It makes my heart retreat in fear a little bit just to type that. The Yogery patrons will probably think I'm crazy. But I know millions of people dance every day! It is a very human thing to do. I think I have been moving toward this ability to let go and dance for a while now. Perhaps a lifetime.

I learned how to do this strange, frightening, primitive-yet-evolved activity on Sunday at a workshop taught by my new boss (you read that right!). I totally lost track of time but I would guess we were moving constantly for about an hour, sometimes subtly, sometimes exaggerated, with wordless, drum-heavy music in the background. The main rule was--just keep moving. We started on our backs just moving our hands and arms, and I was so delighted and surprised at how many different ways my hands wanted to move. One motion after another helped keep the thinking brain turned off. I felt really alive moving my hands like that. Obviously I've danced many times in my life, but almost always quite mechanically while thinking, "Oh, isn't this a nice activity for coordinated people? I wish I didn't look so stupid doing it!"

So tonight I pressed play on my dance playlist. At first I just kinda wiggled around a little bit while scrubbing the toilet and then thought, what the heck, and I got out my mat. And just kept moving. When I would start thinking, I just moved again. I didn't once compose a blog in my head or worry about doing chores. I got a workout, and I felt into some interesting nooks and crannies in my body. I feel quite smoothed out. I am infatuated right now with this practice. Now I just need some more dance music; my dance playlist is kind of heavy on Mr. Timberlake. (Now THATS the most embarrassing thing I've typed this whole post)

Above: Justin Timberlake. Just for fun. I pulled this off of some teen's Twilight-inspired blog. And no offense to him; I mean come on, Lovestoned is the best song ever.

Class Reports Plus Cupcakes!

2010-03-11T06:22:00.000-08:00

I've been teaching a new class at 109 called Hot Flow, a combination of Bikram asanas and vinyasa flow sequences in a relatively hot space--nothing like a Bikram class, but it does get pretty hot in there. The first few classes I taught I approached it as a CPY fusion class--lots of vinyasas, core strengthening, and the Bikram asanas incorporated quickly and seamlessly with the flow. It was fine. I enjoyed it, and we all got good and sweaty.

Lately, however, I've been in a slower mood. I'm approaching all my classes and my personal practice with the same sense of balance and routine. With that in mind, here's the sequence for the last two heated flow classes. The peeps seem pleased with the slower pace. I've been chatting a bit in class about deepening the understanding of why we practice yoga, and how to process the experience of the minimum edge and maximum edge (thanks, Joel Kramer!), ie when we sit back into Bikram's Awkward Pose/Utkatasana for the first time our thighs burn and our arms cry out, but the second time we're aware of the burn and can process it as not an 'immediate danger', and therefore can come deeper. Understanding why we want to go deeper is subjective, and I have been staying away from really 'answering' that, but trying to put it out there. I don't want to force anyone to do anything, but just guide toward that maximum edge. Does that make sense?

In a ninety minute class, we open with:

sit
ujayii/intent
cowface with arms x 2 second time reverse namaste
cat/cow/wiggle
dog
tadasana

in sixty minute class, we skip all that and open in:

tadasana
ujayii/intent
bikram style half moon x 2
bikram style utkatasana x2
standing forehead to knee balancing pose x2
dancer's pose x2
1/4 sun salute x 3
lunge salute x2
first flow sequence
step back right leg:
crescent lunge
parvotasana (forehead to knee with arms either behind back or hands clasped above the foot)
revolved triangle
baby vinyasa with floor bow
tadasana
step back left leg: same thing
baby vinyasa with floor bow
tadasana
second flow sequence
bikram style eagle for three breaths both sides
eagle
bound airplane (eagle arms with warrior III leg)
warrior III
standing splits
falling warrior
pigeon
three legged dog
dog
baby vinyasa
same side left leg
baby vinyasa

child's pose
camel x2 --second time we did the Scott Blossom way, pulling core back and using legs
rabbit(a bikram style variation on child's pose, i think. crown of the head comes to the floor and the hands reach back for the heels while pulling, which allows the hips to lift and the back to round quite intensely.)
paschimotasana
roll onto backs
knees into chest x3 breaths
supine twist both sides
savasana
sit
one round kali breath
om

So far I'm happy with it, I might play with it a bit more. Falling Warrior seems to be unfamiliar to most peeps, and I was thinking about scratching it, but now most of them are down with it so we'll see.

Also! I had the afternoon free this afternoon and to keep myself busy, I baked two different thing! Some vegan cornbread for Ben, and some vegan ginger cupcakes just to experiement--to be frank, I'm not a huge fan of gingerbread, but I so enjoy baking that its worth it to play around even though I won't eat it. In fact, I prefer baking this way--otherwise, I make orange vanilla cupcakes and eat them all before Ben gets home! I didn't take any photos because neither one really turned out very beautiful, but they sure tasted good!

I ran out of most of the ingredients called for in both recipes, but subbed olive oil for veg oil in the cornbread, and in fact like it better this way. It tastes a bit more moist. The cupcakes asked for things like soy yogurt and a half cup of maple syrup, which i had only about two table spoons of, and certainly no soy yogurt, and while they probably could be gooier, I'm happy with the results.

Cornbread recipe from The Joy of Vegan Baking, an awesome book, and the cupcakes from, of course, VEGAN CUPCAKES TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Recipe links in another post.

Frost and Flame

2010-03-09T21:02:00.000-08:00

Well, I wrote this big long thing about my personal practice a few days ago, but then my fingers hiccuped across the keyboard and I somehow managed to delete the whole thing. Immediately frustrated, I closed the window and swore at my computer.

Guess all this sitting and calming I've been trying to do hasn't quite crept into my whole life.

The past week in Shanghai has been wet, dreary and dark. It rained for seven whole days and on the last day the rain turned to snow. Dismal. This morning, however, the sky is miraculously blue and the sun is shining into every last bit of darkness on the streets. Still cold as hell, though. I taught a private this morning, and have a flow class tonight at the studio.

I've been teaching this woman for awhile now, and it's been so nice to see her progress. We do a lot of core focused work---navasana, crunches, lots of plank. This morning, in the spirit of my other classes, we slowed down a lot. She's still very aware of me, of herself in the mirror(we practice in a gym in her apt compound) and extras like her ponytail or what is happening outside. I hoped by creating an even bigger routine than normally in the movements this morning we'd be able to flow with greater ease. It was freeeeeeezing in the gym this morning, so we got started right away.

Cat/cow
plank for three breaths
dog for three
tadasana
neck rolls/shoulder rolls
1/4 sun salutes x 3
lunge salutes x3 -first round with knee on the ground
baby chatarunga, baby cobra, rocket cat (this shall hence forth be referred to as baby vinyasa)
dog
tadasana
chair for three breaths(picked up this next sequence from Nina, it's awesome for getting into core right away)
malasana
navasana for five breaths
roll to standing/tadasana
plank
dog
knee to nose x 3
crescent lunge
warrior II
reverse warrior
side angle (times two each time)
baby vinyasa but before going back to dog, lifted back up into the 'inchworm' chatarunga by pulling the bum back up and pressing the hands into the floor. this is suprisingly challenging!)
same thing on the left side
Tadasana
chair
malasana
navasana
roll onto backs
bada konasana crunches x10
bridge
twisted root crunches x10 (legs intertwined ala eagle with hands interlaced behind head, exhale to bring the nose and knee together)
bridge x2, third time with support
supine twist
mini savasana (was really too cold to be laying on the floor!)
sat for a few moments, working a slow rolling inhale to let the exhale wash down the back of the body.

Somewhere in there we also did three dips from dog into up dog. I think post-Warrior II sequence. Despite all the work we did, neither one of us managed to really warm up, and that was disappointing. Normally about ten minutes into it, I've shed my sweater and socks, but not this morning.

My plan for personal practice was to do one of Zen Muffin's yin classes, but I'm still too chilly! Our apartment is a bit drafty and there is no central heating. Holding plank for a few breaths always gets me immediately warmed up, so alas, it will be a yang practice this morning. I have been working on pulling my belly button back towards the spine, to keep my core engaged--I'm occasionally guilty of letting this go, and my low back has started arguing with me as a result, I think.

I'm hoping to get a video up here soon of a few sequences, so stay tuned!

Class Five

2010-03-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

I had the honor of teaching Kira's Yin Yoga again last night. On my birthday! I now have 7.5 hours total of teaching under my belt and I'll be subbing for Winifred's Yoga for Recovery again on March 20. If Macolm Gladwell is right that we need 10,000 hours of practice to become experts at something, I've only got 9,992.5 more hours to go!

The sequence:

-Butterfly 5

Heart opener counter pose

Cat/Cow, barrel rolls, hip circles

-Extended Child's (didn't time it but it was a couple minutes)

Puppy Dog

-Neck opening on block (from Lisa's workshop) 5 min

-Swan 5 min on each side resting for 2 min after each side (also offered box and eye-of-the-needle at the wall options)

-Frog 5 min rest on belly 2 min

-Active locust 1 min

rest. reverse windshield wiper.

-Sphinx/Seal 5 min, resting for 2 min on belly

-Restorative Twist

-Savasana

Since it was my birthday, I brought chocolate coconut haystacks from The Farmer and the Cook and handed them out after class. This seemed to be a popular move. :)

An Instructional Video for First Time Yog

2010-03-08T19:32:00.001-08:00

"i have been doing yoga since before i was born." "i have two broken legs and no eyeballs. can i still do all the poses?"

Class Four

2010-03-04T07:23:00.001-08:00

Taught Yin Yoga last night for Kira. The rain made it extra cozy. The sequence:

Extended child's

Puppy Dog

Cat/Cow

Hip Circles

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Dragonfly 5 min

Swan L & R sides 5 min each (or box or eye of needle at wall)

-plank and rest on belly 2 min. between sides

Butterfly with extra time for unwinding a la Lisa's workshop, took about 9 min total

-"favorite" resting pose, some took savasana; some took child's; some rested on belly, 2 min

1 minute active locust or "baby penguin" x 2

-windshield wiper and rest between asanas

Sphinx 2.5 min then option to go to Seal

Had planned to do Lisa's neck on the block method but there wasn't time.

Restorative twist 3 min on each side

Savasana

Ray LaMontagne, "Be Here Now"

2010-03-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

Lyrics for "Be Here Now" by Ray LaMontagne:

Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

And that is what it feels like to be Awake.

2010-02-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

Next time you're coming out of savasana, allow yourself to really remain in that dreamlike state as you let the wisdom of the body guide your first movements back into the waking world. The body knows what it needs. It will tell you what to do. As you slowly come to a seated position like this, your body leading the way, not your mind, feel how you're still soft and open, yet upright. "And that is what it feels like to be awake."

And that is how Lisa poetically guided us out of savasana. I usually HATE coming out of savasana cuz it's so seductively wonderful, like being in bed in the morning. But Lisa made me realize, maybe I'm just not enjoying the wonderful benefits of being "awake" properly. Whoa!

I'm reporting from the midst of This is Spinal Tap, a workshop with Lisa West (Lisa has a great new blog here) on the anatomy of the spine and how we can use yoga and posture to address and prevent common injuries and inhabit our bodies more comfortably. Lisa is a bodyworker and an encyclopedia of human anatomy. Really. Since childhood she has memorized things like the Childhood Encyclopedia of Diseases for fun. I could spend days just asking her questions like "now, WHERE does the thoraco-lumbar fascia insert?" Luckily, this weekend I get about 10 hours doing just that.

This workshop feels absolutely crucial for a nervous beginning yoga teacher like me. I'm getting more of a sense of being prepared for all the injuries that might walk in the door. Whiplash, chronic headaches, slipped disc, sciatica, scoliosis, carpal tunnel, arthritis: a formidable list, but I am learning the basics of what causes these issues, how to respond, and perhaps most importantly, what NOT to do. I am also learning that yoga alone can't always do everything; body work is a good idea in many cases.

Lisa genuinely lights up when she talks about fascia and connective tissue. She is an enthusiastic expedition leader into the jungle of the body. I feel like I am coming away from the weekend with a trail map. I have had many 'whoa' moments of being blown away by the complexity of our anatomy. The workshop is a combination of lecture, discussion, and yoga practice. I feel the immediate impact of new knowledge when we get on the mats again after lecture. When I bring my awareness to my pelvis or spine, I now have a whole new visual understanding of the areas. My body is no longer just an unlit, murky thing with vague outlines from memories of high school biology. The stars and moon are coming out and shedding some light on the jungle pathways. The feeling is just plain awesome.

Above: Google Image search result for "spirit spine." Apparently it's a band from Indiana. Oh, google.

I am reminded anew what a sublime vehicle this body is. I am allowing myself to rest comfortably in my new learning, the relatively simple facts of muscle names and vertebral diagrams. Yet I can't help but be aware, as well, that each solid-looking muscle, each vertebra, points to a seemingly infinite amount of complexity and interconnectedness that I cannot possibly understand. Lisa is awesome because she is open to the realization that all her learning may not be entirely true. "We are not linear," she said. Even if we were able to penetrate every cell of the body with increasingly powerful microscopes and tools, it seems we would still not be able to reveal exactly how it works so perfectly as a whole. Where does the spirit come in? Does that live in the cells, too? Is that it, there, mapped on that Chinese meridian chart? Or in those seven chakras?

Class Report: Yoga Basics, 2-24

2010-02-27T19:31:00.000-08:00

Impressing the heart
Tailbone awareness--cat/cow on the floor
Windshield wipers
Roll to seated

Ujayii with hands on rib cage
OM

Easy side stretching
Cat/cow
Plank
Dog

Tadasana
Crescent lunge both sides
Chair
Tadasana
Warrior II for 3 breaths
Reverse warrior
Side angle
Warrior II
Prasaritta
Left side same, then Hammock

We did a vinyasa here
Baby cobra 2 times
Child's pose

Introduced a flow at this point

Crescent lunge
Warrior II
Reverse
Side Angle
Triangle
Twisting lunge
Plank
Baby chatarunga
Baby cobra
Rocket cat
Dog
Left side same

Meant to do tree and option for standing shiva, but who knows what got into me. We did Reclining Hereo's pose, or Saddle pose, instead.
Rabbit pose
Wall splat or plow
Supine twist
Savasana
OM

Just Sitting Around

2010-02-25T01:14:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the slow down in posts on my part. I'm in the midst of a transition, I think, and sitting down to even document sequencing feels unnatural now. Whatever I've planned for class usually gets thrown into the breeze on my way to the studio, and I'm discovering new asanas, or new approaches to the usual ones. There is a shift happening in my practice, toward silence and stillness. Just sitting there.

I have been teaching a new class, Hot Flow, similar to CPY's Hot Fusion class. Bikram meets Vinyasa. I'll post those sequences soon.

Finally, a Post about Pastries

2010-02-23T09:23:00.002-08:00

PASTRIES are back!!! We've been irresponsibly neglecting the pastry half of our mission statement. Our mom sent us this poem and we both love it. Thanks, Mom!

People Who Eat in Coffee Shops

by Edward Field

People who eat in coffee shops
are not worried about nutrition.
They order the toasted cheese sandwiches blithely,
followed by chocolate egg creams and plaster of paris
wedges of lemon meringue pie.
They don't have parental, dental, or medical figures hovering
full of warnings, or whip out dental floss immediately.
They can live in furnished rooms and whenever they want
go out and eat glazed donuts along with innumerable coffees,
dousing their cigarettes in sloppy saucers.

"People Who Eat in Coffee Shops" by Edward Field, from Counting Myself Lucky: Selected Poems 1963-1992. © Black Sparrow Press, 1992. Reprinted with permission